When You Don't Get Duke Tickets

17 Phases The UVA 4th Year Who Didn't Get Duke Tickets Goes Through

It's like the college basketball equivalent of missing the Rapture...


Alas, with over 100 sabre points, I was not awarded a ticket to the upcoming Duke vs UVA men's basketball game.

1. Panic when everyone else is getting their tickets


"I'm group 1, what are you?"

2. Refresh your email over and over and over


When the new email is just a stupid coupon...

3. Convince yourself that the system just has a glitch

UVA email is just slow sometimes... that's probably it...

4. Stare at the email informing you that the world has ended


Sit in shock for approximately 10 minutes trying not to cry.

5. Tell your friends to get sympathy

Send a snapchat to everyone you know because this is monumental news.

6. ... just for them to respond in a way that signals that they DO NOT understand your pain


They are NOT reacting nearly as passionate as they should be.

7. Get angry



8. Do they not understand that I'm a fourth year?


This is my last chance to see Duke... I deserve this! I worked so hard!

9. So maybe if I get hit by a bus, they'll give me a Duke ticket instead of free tuition?


Sees a bus in the distance... steps in road.

10. Try to convince yourself that this won't matter in 10 years


... unsuccessfully.

11. First years with hardly any sabre points got tickets?!


Excuse me? They're not even real fans.

12. Determine which organ to sell on the black market

Will a kidney get me a ticket? How about a sliver of my liver?

13. Wallow in self pity


Wake me up on February 10th.

14. Put Zion as my lock screen in spite


I hope we lose so everyone else can feel my pain (not really, but also really)

15. Any time someone asks how you are, yell, "I didn't get a Duke ticket!"


Don't talk to me right now...

16. To rub the salt into my wounds, find out that College Gameday is coming, too



17. Boycott and leave Charlottesville all together


I'm just going to leave Cville and distance myself from the source of my sadness

It's like the college basketball equivalent of missing the Rapture...

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Romeo, Juliet, And The Time They Were Reckless

It needs to be said.


Oh Romeo, Romeo. Where art thou Romeo?

Well, he is off committing suicide because he thinks you're dead.

Can we discuss the fact he was in love with Rosaline (you know Juliet's cousin) a little before meeting Juliet? I mean if my 16-year-old brother comes around and tells me he's 'in love' with a 13-year-old, I'd probably have to check him. That's an eighth grader with a high school junior. Personally, I am not a fan of it. They meet and *BAM*, they're in love. They court each other, marry, then die. In FOUR days. All of this happens in FOUR days.

Then the whole "If you die I die" thing, is anyone else not mad that he didn't stop to check if she was breathing? My dude grabs a mirror and puts it under her nose. It doesn't make me mad, that young people fall in love. But if I think about it now, the dude I thought I was in love with when I was 13 was a jerk and boy, am I glad my parents said: "You're too young, wait until you're 15." And then, "No, you're still too young," when I was actually 15.

Dude I get it, but can we all collectively agree you have to wait for more than one to two days shipping before you go off and have a clandestine wedding. I get it, young and reckless and in love and ready to give it all. I have seen it, read about it, and can't say been through it I think about most of my actions, but I still get pissed off with this play.

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