Not Everyone Has Daddy Issues

Not Every Male Wearing Eyeliner Has 'Daddy Issues,' So Shut Up

Stop assuming the guidance of a father is something it's not.

53
views

Growing up in a time when divorce rates were high, I heard the term "daddy issues" a lot. Frankly, that term is being overused, and I can't stand it for the sole reason that not having a father does not make a person weird. Let me explain.

Every time I go on Instagram, I often see videos of young boys slaying the makeup game. On every video, there is a comment about how this kid must not have a father because of his actions. You can find the same type of comment on any post of a girl doing something sexy, whether its dancing or simply posing for a photo. Basically, people associate not having a father with having a personality that's socially unacceptable.

I really have trouble seeing this connection. What makes a father so special that his sheer absence could make a person fly off the handle? Why can't people just accept that the actions of others are their own choices and have nothing to do with the presence of a patriarch.

This odd connection aids in our society's obsession with putting men on pedestals. To have the audacity to claim that a person is "weird" because he or she lacks the guidance of a man is not only silly but highly insulting to mothers everywhere. This kind of behavior is what drives social stereotypes and works as a catalyst for shaming people for doing anything too "feminine." God forbid a boy knows how to apply eyeliner; he should be outside building a shed! God forbid a woman shows pride in her body; she should be in the kitchen!

This kind of thinking is beyond stupid and is a sign of extreme sexism and ignorance in a person. There's nothing wrong with not having a father in one's life; these things happen. A father is not going to keep a child on the moral high ground.

Cover Image Credit:

scontent-iad3-1.cdninstagram.com

Popular Right Now

To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
743822
views

Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Being Ugly

What it means to me

76
views

Due to a series of ongoing events throughout my semester, I've reconsidered what it means for someone to truly be ugly. Though it is often used in terms of appearance, I do not see it as such-- now more than ever. Ugliness runs deeper than appearance-- it runs within one's soul and festers into other areas of one's life, particularly in their treatment of others.

I view ugliness as someone's conscious capacity and implementation of malice. Taking time and energy out of your day to hurt someone else, that's what I view as ugly. Some offenses are more minor than others, however, it is still a conscious effort to hurt or affect someone else negatively-- and that's the source of the problem. I truly wonder what causes that sort of behavior in someone, as I, along with most people, simply do not invest time or energy into hating or plotting against others. It seems like a full-time job.

I can theorize all sorts of reasons as to why someone would act this way: hate, jealousy, vengeance, etc. Yet, all of these reasons don't hit the root reason. It almost seems that some people are just innately ugly in their soul. This alludes to the timeless debate of whether one's personality is due to nature or nurture. Again, although our surroundings and environment do have a large effect in our behavior, that alibi only goes so far when multiple people are placed in the same environment, in the same situation, and only some are willing to cross moral boundaries in order to hurt the others. Just because an environment applies pressure to people, does not mean everyone is going to act out in malice, and it certainly does not give everyone an excuse to do so. Some people are simply conniving and, well, ugly inside.

If you have ever encountered people like this, I know from personal experience that it is such a drag. You have an enemy, essentially, whether you chose to or not, however based on their hatred towards you, they are now considered an enemy, a hater, and any other associated term. Know that they will do anything in their power to bring you down, even if it requires bending the truth and creating elaborate schemes, but you have to keep on doing you. Let them obsess over ways to bring you down. At the end of the day, their time and energy is being invested into bringing you down, while yours is being used to build yourself up. They will fall by default. So, keep your head high, act in grace, and make your money. They can sip on their Haterade and watch from below.

Related Content

Facebook Comments