Why do our minds seem to be nostalgic for the past and yearn for the future? I recently watched a video where a selective group of people had been asked this contemplating question, “At what age do you wish you were at this moment?” A little girl’s big brown eyes lit up as she confidently said “20” and began to list endless possibilities that could potentially accompany that magic number. Then when a 23-year-old woman was asked the same question, her big brown eyes widen with excitement of her past as she said “16”. For some reason when we think of happiness, our minds travel to the sentimental memories of the past or fast-forward to the possible blissful memories that are yet to come. Yet no one seems to be living for the present, enjoying the current memories. Our rose-colored glasses hoax us into believing everything is just better in the past or will work itself out in the future.
That’s the thing though, it’s simply a delusion. Our minds only remembers the good, the beautiful, the laughter, not the tears, or the struggles. Trying to think back to an exact memory of the past is like trying really hard to remember every detail of a dream. There are bits and pieces that are clear but others distorted. It’s so easy for your brain to recreate those distorted memories into something better than it actually was. Whether we can help it or not, our mind is biased; it only recalls what it wants to reminisce about. The painful memories are harder to elicit because why would you want to live through the angst twice? In a way our mind is smart like that, protecting its own self from the damage, yet at the same time deceives us into craving that seemingly perfect past, which just might not have been as faultless as we thought.
The future can also appear faultless. The boundless promises that the future can uphold give us something to look forward to. Where will you travel? Who will you meet? What will we look like? How successful will we be? Our mind fabricates our thoughts into thinking that whatever the answers are, they have to be better than the present. As humans we are naturally afraid of endings, the present can encounter a lot of these. With endings come unwanted goodbyes, and the fading of good times. That’s why we long for the future. We assume its full of beginnings, new hellos or continuations. You become nostalgic for future memories that your mind has dreamt up. However, amidst the dreaming and imaging, our minds forget to consider that what we hope will happen may not be guaranteed.
What is certain is the present, yet somehow we all seem to forget to live in it. The present is our reality. It’s difficult to face reality at times but sometimes it better to embrace it than hide from it. The more you enjoy the existing moments the easier it becomes to let go of the past and not urge for the future to come sooner. The age you should want to be right now is your current age, no matter the number. The past has its ups and downs and so does the future. Take a venture on the present; don’t ruin it by wishing it away.
