I was deeply disturbed this cruel Monday morning when I entered my dorm room for the first time since Friday. I opened my door and practically fell to my knees due to the unbearable stench that was seeping from the walls of my 4X4 single dorm. It was a smell I had never smelled before, it was terrifying. I felt like Patrick in the episode "No Nose Knows" when Patrick finally gets a nose but can't handle bad smells so Spongebob makes a garbage ball for him and Patricks nose shrinks and falls off.

I believe that this was the first time in history this smell was ever produced. For this reason, I am going to try my best to explain the smell of it because I am genuinely concerned for my health and safety. My room smelled so bad, it smelled like there had been one of Spongebob's homemade garbage balls soaking under my bed for a week. It smelled as bad as how I imagine Donald Trumps genitalia to smell like. It smelled like a fresh shart that came out of Kevin James ass. It smelled like the bathroom in a frat house at a SUNY school. It smelled like how I imagine one of those raves that take place in a water park smell. It smelled like your aunt's house that you're forced to go to every Christmas who is overweight, addicted to cigarettes, and has one too many cats. If you are a doctor, a scientist, or just anyone who knows this smell please contact me.

I think it could be due to the fact that I had a half eaten tuna sub in the trash that I forgot to take out. I couldn't eat the sub because whoever made it was skimpy on the tuna and gave me an obnoxiously thick piece of wheat bread. My Mistake started with the wheat bread, I don't know what I was thinking. Wheat? Really? Wheat bread is shit bread, don't ever get it. Always white. I am still concerned for the health and safety of not only me but my hall residents. The smell was so pungent that I'm worried if my hall would be considered a radioactive zone. My resident hall might be a dead zone now because of an ancient tuna sub. I may have turned that bitch into Hiroshima.