Don't Trade Your Personality For Normalcy

Don't Trade Your Personality For Normalcy

Of course you're not perfect. None of us are, and that is the beauty of humanity.


Popular, yet controversial statement: normalcy is overrated.

By all means, stay sane. This is not an invitation to become psychotic. I am talking about your personality – what makes you you. Everything about you is special. Imagine if we were all the same: same hairstyle, same fashion taste, same laugh, same personality, same preferences. How boring would that world be? There would be nothing interesting about life. Because we are different, we are special.

Close your eyes and pretend you are walking in a field of flowers. All around you, as far as the eye can see, are white carnations. Everywhere you look, every plant you touch is a white carnation, and then you spot it. Your eye catches something different, something special, something awesome. A red tulip. Just one red tulip in the miles of white, like a red scarf in the snow. See how beautiful it is. See how different it is.

You are that red tulip. You are a diamond in the rough, a pearl among sand, the rose among thorns. You are that special beauty that catches the eye of the passerby.

But your beauty does not diminish the allure of everyone else. The red tulip does not take away from the grace of the white carnations. Each of the flowers is beautiful, whether in a bouquet together or standing alone in the grass. Though a red tulip is unique in a field of white carnations, the carnations are also unique unto themselves. And that uniqueness also makes them beautiful.

Difference does not make you ugly, and normalcy does not guarantee beauty.

You are the white carnation. You are also the red tulip. Have some spots or freckles or birthmarks? So does catmint. A bit big? So is amaryllis. Dainty and thin, often feel breakable? So is the African violet. Missing a couple of parts? Even flowers lose their petals.

You are special, and you are so beautiful. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

Of course you are going to stick out. That's how people notice you. You are a star in the inky void of the night sky. Don't extinguish your light just so you can blend in. If a star turned down her brightness, who would light the way? Don't tone down who you are just because someone dislikes you.

You can conform to societal standards and still look like a Barbie in her box, up on a shelf waiting to be bought, the same as thousands of other dolls. You can conform to societal standards of beauty and still be yourself. It's all about who you are, what makes you comfortable, and staying true to yourself. Don't listen to Ariel. Don't change yourself for a man or to be accepted. Now, if you want to have plastic surgery solely because you want it, by all means, go ahead. But don't feel like you should be pressured into fitting a mold you weren't made for.

Of course you're not perfect. None of us are, and that is the beauty of humanity.

Be brave. Be bold. Be beautiful. But most of all, be yourself. And remember:



They are going to love you.

Popular Right Now

Be The Girl That Does These 22 Things

Be Beyoncé, always.

No one is perfect, except maybe Beyoncé. But everyone can be kind, strong, brave, ambitious, and have a sense of humor though. So be that girl.

Be the girl that:

1. Steps out of her comfort zone.

2. Stands up for herself.

3. Is ambitious.

4. Faces each day with confidence.

5. Works hard.

6. Knows her worth.

7. Loves fiercely.

8. Finds strength in every situation.

9. Builds other women up.

10. Learns from her mistakes.

11. Isn't afraid to fail.

12. Is Humble.

13. Is kind, whenever possible (it's always possible).

14. Is passionate about life.

15. Knows how to have fun.

16. Is adventurous.

17. Has the strength to forgive.

18. Knows when to walk away.

19. Can laugh at herself.

20. Never settles.

21. Always tries new things.

22. Loves herself.

Cover Image Credit: You Decide 12

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To The Girl Who Hasn't Yet Found Herself, Keep Looking

You will eventually find her in all the right places, I promise.


They say you are supposed to go through your awkward transition phase during middle school, but you still feel like you haven't quite figured it out. They say you are supposed to join a club in order to "find yourself", but then you end up sitting in the back watching everyone laugh and catch up. You feel out of place--like you're existing somewhere you just don't belong. Let me be the voice telling you that you are exactly where you are meant to be right now. Every decision you've ever made has led you to this place. This is, of course, much harder to grasp than to just say. Really though, you're doing just fine!

Finding out the things you don't like to do are just important as discovering your passions when it comes to finding your true self. Don't be afraid to join that club, talk to the girl next to you in class, and explore your interests. You might hate it. You might want to run away, but at least you're learning about yourself and where your comfort zone lies. Finding yourself is a life long process, so don't expect an Aha! moment where you have finally hit your destination. Think of it more as a sense of confidence of comfortability in who you are and what you stand for.

Stepping away from friends and family for some time may also lead you to who you are. Often, we grow up and mature only to have the same beliefs, morals, and political opinions as our parents. It's not our fault and we aren't childish, we just trust our parent's judgment and see their conscience as nothing but truth. Part of gaining independence is questioning your own biased beliefs and reevaluating them so they reflect your character better. Same goes with friends. Try to spend a Friday night in with yourself. See what you do. Do you watch a movie? Do you catch up on homework? Do you paint your nails? What is it that makes you feel happy when nobody else is around? By considering the answer to this question, you're one step closer to figuring this whole life thing out.

You may also want to try stepping away from your phone. Your social media (this shouldn't come as a surprise) is giving you the false idea that everyone around you knows exactly what they're doing and enjoys doing it all. Not true. So not true actually, everyone else is struggling to find out just who they are. You and your phone need some distance.

Finding yourself doesn't just happen. You need to explore the world around you and you'll eventually find out where your place is. Be patient with the process and know the right steps will surface when you're ready to take them. Be kind to yourself and have the bravery to discover the girl inside you (I hear she's really cool).

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