A New England winter is nothing to joke about. The snow can be fast and fierce, the winds high enough to bowl you over, and of course, what would New England winter be without the windchill factor? This year's winter seems to be worse - it hasn't fallen this quickly since February 2015, when endless snowstorms resulted in almost a whole month without school.
March 2018 seems to be shaping up to be quite the contender, however: with three snowstorms (lovingly dubbed 'nor'easter's) in the span of two weeks and no end in sight, New Englanders are sure to be thoroughly sick of their snow day checklist by the time the season ends, which includes:
1. Staying home to take care of their kids.
Having kids means having school snow days, and having school snow days means having kids cooped up inside with nothing to do. No kids? You're pretty safe...unless you wanted some extra labor shoveling out of that driveway.
2. Worrying about the power going out.
All of that food in your fridge! Your snow day Netflix plans! Your hot water! And the worst: YOUR WI-FI. (Greatly unexaggerated in the case of snow day kids with cabin fever.)
3. Calling the power company to report an outage when the power inevitably goes out.
"Hello? Yes, I'd like to report a power outage at (insert address here)...yes, I'm aware it's the third one this month...please hurry, my kids need wi-fi. That's them yelling in the background."
4. Worrying when the power will come back on.
If the power doesn't come back on, how long until everyone inevitably freezes to death? How long until the food in the fridge goes bad? How much battery is there left on your phone?
5. Worrying about falling trees.
You heard last month a tree in someone's backyard finally tumbled down and took the front half of their house out. Sure, that tree in your front yard's survived the last couple of storms, but what if it chooses this one to give way...? You're definitely chopping it down this summer.
6. Listening to the weather reporter talk about snowfall.
It's not a competition to see who gets the most snowfall, okay? At the end of the day, all we really need to know is that school is closed the next day and that no, none of it is going to freeze over into a crude version of the Olympic bobsledding track.
7. Shoveling out
Ah, yes. Time to utilize your kids' cabin fever energy for something useful. Maybe even have 'em build a snowman. At least then they'll (maybe?) stop singing that song. No kids? Strap on your boots and cover your face. It's going to be a while.
8. Pulling a muscle because of shoveling.
To be clear, every muscle hurts from lifting that shovel over and over. There's just one (or a group of them) that hurts a lot more and a lot worse than the rest of them do. Is it even worth it to try and heal when you're probably gonna pull another one during the next storm?
9. Rescheduling plans because of the storm.
That flight that was supposed to take you far, far, far away from all of the impending snowstorms? Cancelled. Kaput. Hope you can get it rescheduled for the next day, otherwise you're in for a long staycation.
10. Hearing about the next storm.
Uh, no. You just got down shoveling out of this one, crying about that pulled muscle, and rescheduled your flight. Another nor'easter is literally not allowed to come within fifty feet of you until you've recovered.