Guys, we all know what goes on in your head.

You create these ideal images of girls in your head and these elaborate scenarios, and you try to apply them to real-life.

Let me tell you one thing: it doesn’t work with me.

As someone from an Asian ethnic background, I’ve been told throughout the years, primarily college, that it’s “every guy’s dream” to be with an Asian girl. Why? Who knows, but somehow it manages to make its way onto every guy’s bucket list. Typically, I don’t get offended when these types of situations arise. Now, as I’m progressing through my junior year of college, I’ve seen the minds of all types of guys—from geeky card-playing guys to drunk frat boys—and that seems to be a shared commonality. (Side note: guys, don’t be offended with my use of over-generalizations. I’m sure you don’t all fall under the same category.) At first, I would shrug it off, laugh it off, and move on, but now, I just walk away when the conversation gets to that point. I could be having the best time with an amazing, sweet, caring guy, but the second he says, “You know, I’ve always wanted to do it with an Asian,” I’m out.

And this doesn’t just apply to my race. I’d respond in the same manner if a guy told me he’s always wanted to get with a short who’s 5’2” or someone with back dimples. Looks aren’t everything. If you’re singling out a specific group of people and favoring them more than anyone else, you’ve got a narrow playing field and high standards. I once had a guy tell me he was glad that I was in fit shape, because he didn’t like the “fatties.” Even though I’m not a “fatty,” I was still shocked that a guy would even say that aloud. Yes, we have expectations in our minds, but just because we are protected by the First Amendment doesn’t mean we should say what we’re thinking. We need to be more open and accepting of a wider range of people.

I’ve never been part of the whole feminist movement, or what our generation believes to be related to feminism, but I do believe that I am not the only girl who has experienced something like this before. I do believe that I’m not the only girl who wants it to end. I don’t believe this applies just to women, I believe that us girls can do the same thing to guys. We’ll tell them, “Oh it’s good you work out, I don’t like a scrawny guy.” If you think that’s okay to say to guys, think of what it does to their self-esteem. It may lower it if they don’t actually hit the gym that often, causing them to work out more, or it may raise it, causing them to become complete jackasses. Or, we could pick at their intellect and say, “I really go for the engineers.” How do you think that makes them feel? What if they absolutely hate the major or they’re not good at it and they’re only doing it to make their parents proud? That gives them a standard they have to live up to, an other-imposed fulfilling prophecy.

Here’s the thing: We are all biologically built the same way, 206 skeletal bones, 650 or so muscles, air in our lungs. We may have different hair colors, eye colors, and body shapes, but we’re all made of the same components. Telling someone that you prefer them to others due to these characteristics is like saying you prefer someone who is a Yankees fan over a Red Sox fan, and we all know how those arguments end.

So please, for the sake of everyone, keep your fantasies to yourself, and try not to let it influence potentially good relationships.