I think most of us have been there. You are thriving in being the bad ass you are. Your skin is glowing and you are manifesting within your own lane. You have finally merged back onto the path toward success and mental stability.
Then it happens.
Your "bad assessness" is suddenly a threat and now some girl thinks you want her man.
Crazy right? Out of all the men in the world, you think I would choose yours. Some people think too highly of themselves and their counterparts.
Now you are tempted to stop what you are doing and reevaluate how your actions disrupted someone else. Were you too nice? Did you smile too hard? Did you like something you were not supposed to like?
Well, I have the answer. It is simple. You did not do anything wrong. Well, let me clear that up. MOST of you did not do anything wrong (some people like to dabble in things they should not be dabbling in but that is for another blog). I am speaking to the women who feel like they have to shrink themselves to make others comfortable.
You DON'T! I'll tell you why.
You Are Not Responsible!
There is only one person you are responsible for and that is yourself (unless you have children. Take care of your kids). You are not responsible for other people's insecurities. We each have our own insecurities that we live with and adding someone else's is not your problem. It is unnecessary weight. So, what is insecurity? Well, it is in the word itself. To be secure is to be rooted. Assured. Confident. If you are insecure, you are without assurance and confidence in something. If you have not played a role in making someone feel insecure about themselves or their respective relationship, you are not at all entitled to any explanations.
If it's not you, it's Becky with the good hair.
UnsplashHannah Smith
Some women will always fine someone else to blame for that lack of security within the relationship. That person they are blaming is ALMOST always never their man. This is another reason why you should remain unapologetic about being who you are. Once they get over blaming you, they will eventually find another woman that threatens them within their own relationship.
Word of advice: If you continuously feel insecure within a relationship, then maybe you shouldn't be in one. If you are not not secure within your own self apart from a relationship, those insecurities will ruin every relationship you decide to be in.
They are jealous of you
Unfortunately, insecurity runs deep and it can cause people to envy those who threaten them. If that girl can see that you are clearly a bad ass, she knows everyone else can see it too. That is also not your problem. If people are jealous of you, you are clearly doing something right in life. I cannot stress it enough: stop shrinking yourself to make people feel more comfortable around you. We don't all have the same resources or the same breaks in life, but we all have the same 24 hours. What we make of those 24 hours is up to us.
So, what do you do?
Solutions
Do you fight? You could.
Cuss them out? If that makes you feel better.
Ignore it? That is always an option.
The choice is up to you but there is one thing you should never do (I'll repeat it one last time). DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT shrink yourself to make other people feel comfortable. Go and do everything without fear. You making achievements, you growing into the person you have always dreamt of, and you defying limitations that have been set by your own insecurity is your own right.
No more shrinking yourself to accommodate other people's insecurities. Be unapologetic.
UnsplashEtty Fidele
