I Don't Believe In Love At First Sight, But There's No Time Frame For Love

I Don't Believe In Love At First Sight, But There's No Time Frame For Love

The clock does not tick to time you on how fast you take to fall in love. The clock only ticks for the people that love genuinely... and eternally.

717
views
"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity."
- Henry Van Dyke

"For those who love, time is eternity." The end of this magnificent statement by poet Henry Van Dyke epitomizes the philosophical ideas that are parallel to contextualizing what 'love' is and how 'falling in love' varies from its common misperceptions and what people mistake it to be.

There is a strong distinction between infatuation and love. Often times, people convince themselves they found the loves of their lives and believe they are head over heels for the person they, in reality, only found a temporary liking to. Infatuation is defined as "an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something."

There are two factors that often contribute to an infatuated mindset:

First, a physical attraction. A person is often so warped up in a physical liking to another person that they don't take the time to take into account the other person's personality. It is a hindrance of a connection between two souls. The attraction is rooted in sexual desire with a complete lack of emotional bond.

Second, the idea of being with someone, rather than actually loving that person for who they are. I am a victim of this personally. There was a person who came into my life VERY briefly, and there was a fast and scary attachment on his end. When I ended things with him, he disparaged me and threatened me. His behavior not only shows his own psychological issues but also the fact that he never cared about me, to begin with. He was only interested in the IDEA of a perfect relationship and the IDEA of loving someone else, rather than take his time and fall for me as I am.

That is why I don't believe in love at first sight because it is always infatuation. It is a facade. A lie. None of it is real love.

Although I oppose this ideology of love at first sight, I don't think that means there is a time frame that is pertinent to when falling in love may occur. There is no way of determining how long it takes to fall in love with the right person. Depending on the two souls and how much time you spend with one another each day, it could be days, months, or even years. Love is hard. It is an abstract principle that cannot be explained with a straightforward answer.

Only you can really tell yourself if you're in love or not. Only you can determine the intensity of your feelings and if these feelings elicit comfort, stability, and pride. Don't let people invalidate your love if it happens more quickly than usual. Sometimes, it just happens. People get lucky and find their person instantaneously. Nobody REALLY knows the emotional connection you share with anyone or the ins-and-outs of your relationship EXCEPT YOU. They aren't in a relationship with you. Only you and your partner are in the relationship. Even if it's the other way around, sometimes the intensity doesn't happen right away. Some people love faster than others. We all have on our own clocks and schedules. It will all be OK. You are OK.

The clock does not tick to time you on how fast you take to fall in love. The clock only ticks for the people that love genuinely... and eternally.

Popular Right Now

21 Reasons You Should Date Someone Who Was A Camp Counselor

Spouse and parent material, all wrapped up in an animal shirt, Nike shorts, and Chacos.
18003
views

1. They shop at Goodwill mostly... low maintenance you could say?

SEE ALSO: The ABC's Of Summer Camp

2. They are pretty awesome at talking to parents... opening days have given good practice for them. Give them 15 minutes and they will become best friends with your parents.

3. Their best friends actually are long distance...so you can wait a while to meet their besties who will want to know everything about you and make sure your intentions are good.

4. They have learned how to look decently presentable without showering for a week... maybe two...you may or may not like this one.

5. They are always down for adventure... sure let's hike for eight miles uphill in the middle of the week!

6. They know what it is like to be woken up at 2 a.m. because someone wet their bed... mom training.

7. They also know how to give the "modest is hottest" talk to the teenage campers... and will help give you a classy future daughter.

8. Building fires is their hidden talent... if you ever get stuck on a deserted island with them they can help you.

9. Animal shirts are a common clothing item... they know how to have fun.

10. They throw killer dance parties... ones your grandma would approve of.

11. They are used to being publicly embarrassed for others (their campers') enjoyment... and usually can take a joke or prank well.

12. They also know how to prank you back... summer camp prepares you for awesome prank wars.

13. If you want to see her with no makeup on just look at her camp photos... natural beauty?

14. They actually love children... they chose to spend a whole summer loving other people's kids; imagine how awesome they will treat their own.

15. Chances are they are a really fun person and will bring out your inner child... yes, climb that random tree and paint your face because it is Wednesday.

16. Their "real job" will come later in life... they will end up being successful. Most employers love to hire former counselors, so it is not a waste of a summer.

17. They know how to hide their favorites in life really well... so if they choose to date you they are basically saying you are their favorite and that is a big deal to them.

18. They have learned how to eat unhealthy food every day for a whole summer and stay in shape... or try to at least.

19. They also are obviously not a diva when it comes to material needs...they went a whole summer without even air conditioning and never complained.

20. If they love you anything like they love their campers your needs will always be put first...they are some of the most selfless people you will ever meet.

21. They love God, living for Him, and have already made a difference in many children's lives... they are the real MVPS.

If you are still looking for a place to work this summer and love adventure, Jesus, and children, apply for Camp Crestridge for Girls; they still have many positions available. I'll be there so you should too!

If you are a boy apply for Camp Ridgecrest for Boys!

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

You've Heard Of 'How To Be Single,' But Let's Talk About 'How To Be Romantic'

For some of us, it takes work to be cutesy and romantic.

221
views

Okay, I'm probably the least romantic person anyone has ever met. Not to say that I'm a bad girlfriend or that I'm not caring. I just find love in simple things like knowing what to order for them at restaurants, doing their laundry, planning unique dates, or cooking for them. It's not that I'm opposed to being arduous, I've just never been a chocolate and flowers kind of girl. I'm more of a Mongolian hot pot and "let's walk across the Brooklyn Bridge!" kind of girl. I appreciate some effort, tailoring something to fit a person's idiosyncratic personality or general spontaneity, not how flowery something looks. Not saying that I'm not feminine, I'm just my own entity, so to speak, and that translates into my love life. Needless to say, I thought I should learn how the other half lives, so I've challenged myself to take a course on being a classic/hopeless romantic just to understand how others think and who knows I might change some of my habits!

1. Leave notes

I think it's a really cute and simple idea that I will try to do because it makes everything very personal.

2. Write them a poem

I've had this done for me but I've never actually done it, because believe it or not, I didn't like to read or write poems up until this year.

3. Cuddling

Okay, so I'm not a cuddler, I have no idea why — it's more or less a personal space and attachment issue, I guess. I love hugs though! I guess I just have to be in the mood to cuddle and at times I can be. Other times it just makes me nervous.

4. Dedicate a song to them on the radio

It seems like the people on the radio that do this are crazy in love and honestly, to be able to have the ability to go on the radio and just declare your love for someone else is really inspiring.

5. Surprise them!

I personally cannot stand surprises, but I love to surprise other people and just be spontaneous, so I sort of do this already.

6. Carve your names into a tree

I've thought about doing this, but I've never got around to it, so I promise one day I will.

7. Go see a romantic movie

Nope, nope, I'll barf! Not happening, strictly horror movies for this girl, sorry!

8. Make them a care package

See, this makes me think a lot about what really defines romantic, because I do this all the time, but I don't consider it romantic, I just think it's sweet.

9. Take a walk on the beach together

I've done this, but I have to be doing this while looking for seashells or I feel like I'll be bored.

10. Make a CD for them

"THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER," CHARLIE IS QUAKING.

Related Content

Facebook Comments