It’s been five months since my ex-boyfriend, the one I thought would be my partner in life and father to my children, broke up with me. It’s also been nine months since we celebrated our five year anniversary by getting a tattoo together. I know, kind of a difficult situation, right? Well, contrary to what some may think, I do not have one regret about the tattoo on my back.

I’ll admit, at first after the break-up, the sting I felt during the tattooing process seemed to creep back every time I happened to catch a glimpse of the embedded art on my back. It hurt to know that the tattoo was permanent, but my relationship no longer was.

At four years into our relationship, he asked me if I wanted to get a tattoo together. As a tattoo aficionado, I was all for it! Let me add that previously he was absolutely against me getting tattoos! Me being me, headstrong and incessant at times, knew that I would not take no for an answer. Besides, it’s my body and I plan to decorate it of my own accord. Eventually after years, he changed his mindset about tattoos and asked me to get one together. I told him that we should do it to celebrate our five year anniversary; half a decade was a pretty big deal in my opinion. So, that’s what we did. I searched for months for a qualified tattoo artist who could create a beautiful piece in the watercolor style that we wanted. I finally discovered Bobby Bosak at Aces High Tattoo Shop in West Palm Beach. We made the appointment and decided to make a weekend trip out of the celebratory occasion. Side note: Many thanks to Bobby for creating such an aesthetic engraving on my skin. Wonderful job.

As previously stated, we are no longer together. Many people’s first question was, “So how do you feel about the tattoo now?” Let me just take this moment to interject with a thought: I’m not sure why, but many people, (usually uninked people) have this slight obsession with whether or not inked people will regret their tattoos. First of all, how do my potential regrets in life affect you? They don’t. My regrets are my own business. I wish people would simply stop asking questions about tattoo regrets. Or saying things such as, “You know it’s permanent, right?” No shit. That’s half of the appeal - to have a unique piece of art displayed on your body for all time. However, I guess I can understand why someone would ask this, seeing as how a piece of my relationship that no longer exists is now a part of me for eternity. My answer to this question is, “I still love it. It’s a beautiful tattoo.” Which it is! I’ve gotten more compliments on my tattoo than I could ever count.

Although, it’s not just the tattoo’s delicate beauty that keeps me from regret. It’s also the essence behind a tattoo in general--a tattoo is a scar that tells a story. It’s a masterpiece, a one-of-a-kind piece of art that meant something to you at that point in your life. Perhaps it’s something that has molded your very being. How could I regret something that was such a major part of my life? That would be a wasted effort. There is no use denying five years of my life. I was madly in love and in that moment, getting a tattoo with my boyfriend meant the world to me. I have good memories and I choose to focus on those rather than regret.

This tattoo has taught me about commitment as well. It’s strange because I used to think my ex-boyfriend was permanent, like a tattoo. He was my future. And within a quick phone call, that future was shattered. This situation showed me that something you may think will last a lifetime can easily be fleeting. Commitment is difficult and scary. Getting a tattoo is bold and risky. They teach you how to commit and how to deal with the everlasting consequences of your actions.

My tattoo has also taken on a new personal meaning for me since the break-up. It represents something profound in me, the thing that has gotten me through times of strife. I look at the colorful crane on my back and I’m reminded that I have been strong, have moved forward and have not allowed this experience to own me. Rather I own it. The tattoo consists of the colors in the rainbow. A rainbow in the Bible represents God’s covenant to his people. So in a way, I look at my tattoo as God’s promise to me that He will never abandon me and that he has someone else better planned for me.

I will never regret this tattoo. It represents love, loss, identity, a promise, struggle and so much more. It’s my story, that I plan to tell for the rest of my life. The crane on my back soars gracefully in all it’s rainbow splendor and I plan to do the same. I guess one day I’ll just find a new bird to soar with.