I know the struggle all too well: grueling over summer internship applications throughout the entire spring semester, but to no avail. Without so much as a half-hearted apologetic rejection email, you spend the first few weeks of summer in a state of blissful denial: maybe they'll still reach out…maybe it's not too late.

But as June starts to dwindle away, so does your optimism. I'm here to remind you that this summer isn't—and shouldn't be—a waste! Here we are, living in New York City, older than we've ever been, younger than we'll ever be, and there are limitless experiences just waiting to be explored…by you!

In all honesty, I found myself struggling the past few weeks, feeling like I wasn't making the most of the summer before senior year. It's so easy to get bogged down by the negative thoughts: worrying about your (not-so-distant-) future career, feeling underwhelmed by the looks of your own résumé, comparing your LinkedIn profile to those of your peers. Admittedly, I fell victim to all of these things earlier this month, and it was scary!

That's when I knew it was time for a change in perspective.

We hear it all the time—from our professors, our parents, our friends, our RAs—college is all about balance. During the school year, you can't focus too much on one exam, just like you can't focus too much on weekend brunch plans. Social life, work life, and academic life must exist in unison, but sometimes different opportunities present themselves at different times.

So the summer of 2019 wouldn't yield clarity and assurance in terms of my career path, but it certainly has the unique ability to teach me about myself—but that can't happen if I'm hung up on the job I didn't get or the position I didn't get a chance to apply to.

Somewhere between (finally) reading Michelle Obama's "Becoming" and spending one of many warm June afternoons journaling in the sunshine at Bryant Park, I realized that I could use these months to reflect on the time I'd spent in New York thus far: the mentors I've learned from, the incredible friends I've made, the classes that changed my viewpoints. Summer nights on Eddie's remind me of how lucky I am to call Fordham my home…and how much I'm going to miss it after graduation.

I can't help but think that a 9-to-5 (or 6, or 7, or 8) internship would have restricted me from the kind of personal growth I needed (and continue to need) this summer. My unconventional path to my senior year is meaningful to me, and I love that I get to be in control of that meaning. I can decide what to focus on, where to spend my time, and with whom.

This was a freeing realization: one that lifted the weight of early June's worries and doubt. It has allowed me to measure (or at least begin to measure) success not in terms of hours clocked and checks cashed, but in relationships fostered and experiences lived. This is The Summer of Me, and I can't wait to see what it has to offer.