“I wish I had a sibling to share my parent’s affections with,” said no only child ever. To people with brothers or sisters, being an only child seems like a disease. It’s as though we can have no close connections without a sibling. How can we have role models or people to talk to about our biggest secrets?
As an only child, I grew up very close to my parents. At school, I text them every day and call them every few days. I talk to them about my problems, and know that they’re always there for me when I need them. As a young child, there was no one else for me to compete with for their attention, so my parents had all the time in the world for me. How can I be unhappy that I don’t have siblings when I have never known any differently?
I think the best part of being an only child is that I can choose my own siblings. Over the years I have developed friendships that I can only compare to family, but I have the advantage of being able to get away from them. Friendships that were once close, but wither over time can be dropped. Sometimes we grow out of friends, even our best ones.
I do, however, have many friends that have been there for me through everything. I have two friends (you know who you are) who I have been close to since Kindergarten. I have many from high school, who I talk to everyday even though we’re miles, sometimes countries, apart. Even though we live very different lives, these people are always just a text away whenever I need them or whenever I just want to talk. I love my friends as much as I can only imagine one would love their brother or sister.
Being an only child means I never have to compete with anyone at home. When I do something great, it’s never an attempt to one up a sibling, and it receives my parents' full attention. My parents were on the sidelines of almost every field hockey game and tennis match I played throughout high school, and there were never conflicts for rides home because of a sibling.
As an only child, I believe that I developed a stronger sense of independence than some people with siblings have. I didn’t have brothers or sisters to do things for me, so I had to do things for myself. I had to keep myself occupied most of the time when my parents were busy. I valued my time alone, and appreciated having a quiet house to return to when I was away. I believe that college has been a lot easier for me because I haven’t had a family member on campus to fall back on when things get hard, and I’ve spent my life doing things for myself, so it has not been hard to make that transition.
As I got older, my mom made fewer meals for me, and I spent a lot of time by myself. That’s not to say that my parents don’t spend time with me, but it’s not possible to watch movies together every night. The biggest difference for me in college is actually living with other people. Never in my life have I shared a room with someone.
The one thing being an only child did not prepare me for in college is roommate conflicts. I’ve had arguments with my parents before, but never anything major. Having roommates who disagree with you about something small was something I was never prepared for. Siblings bicker all the time about the most meaningless stuff, but they talk or argue and eventually get over it. I never had this. Of course I’ve had disagreements with my friends, but living in the same space as another person is an entirely different experience.
When I’ve had arguments in the past, I was able to avoid the person until we both cooled down or talked about it. Siblings (and roommates) live in the same house and are forced to confront each other over problems. Though I don’t avoid talking to people when there’s a conflict, it’s hard to be really upset at someone, and then have to see them because you live in the same space.
Being an only child may be lonely at times, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Through my close friends, my parents, cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents, I have all the family I could ever need. I have no family bickering or belongings mysteriously disappearing from my room. Christmas is not uncomfortable because I’ve always been the only kid opening presents, and the constant attention from my parents shows nothing but love. I love my little family exactly the way it is.
