dating culture
Start writing a post

Let's Get Back To A 'No Scrubs' Mindset

In a dating culture so poor, let's get back our worth.

Let's Get Back To A 'No Scrubs' Mindset

Dating culture has come a long way in the last fifty years, and I don't mean that in a good way. We have gone from men walking up to the doors and meeting our parents at the start of a date to guys honking the horn our front and expecting us to come outside.

We have come from long relationships that have milestones and are special, to one-night stands and not even remembering your partner's name the next day.

We have gone from guys bringing flowers just because to guys bringing flowers just because they messed up.

We've gone from the man leading and the woman following, playing her part as care-taker to women being strictly independent, not needing any man to tell her what to do.

This needs to change.

Now, before people get offended and start yelling at me about "feminism" and women's rights and how they can take care of themselves, that's not what I mean. Of course women can be independent and more power to you for being so secure in yourself, ladies. Here's all I'm saying: just because a man buys you flowers, or wants to lead in the relationship, that does not mean he is looking down on you. That's just what a man is supposed to do!

Now, I'm going to be honest that I'm a bit confused. Women don't want men to look down at them and are so much in this 'I don't need no man' mindset, yet I see so many women settling! They're having meaningless one-night stands, staying in abusive relationships, staying with a guy who just treats you horribly (though, not abusively). So if you're viewing yourself more highly, how can you look at the relationship you're in and not see how that's dragging you down?

You don't want men to look down at you, but, honey, I kinda am (no judgment). When I see someone in a bad relationship where I can clearly see an out, my heart breaks for them, yearning for them to break free.

As the beautiful and powerful women that we are, we need to step back into a "No Scrubs" mindset, instead of wherever we are now. We need to let TLC talk to us and really take their advice.

"No, I don't want your number /
No, I don't wanna give you mine /
No, I don't want no scrub /
A scrub is a guy who can't get no love from me /
Hangin' out the passenger side /
Of his best friend's ride /
Tryna holla at me"

This is great advice of the treatment that we should NOT take. If a weird guy just comes and asks for your number, don't give it to him! Don't take his number! If a guy is catcallin' you, or wolf whistles at you out of the car window, pay no attention, sister! You are better than that.

They continue on to tell us:

"If you don't have a car and you're walking /
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you /
If you live at home with your momma /
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you /
If you have a shorty that you don't show love /
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you."

Again, good advice! A few kinds of guys you should avoid: guys without cars who are slumping off of other people, guys who still live with their parents, guys who are IN A RELATIONSHIP that don't respect their partner by flirting with you!!!

Avoid them.

You deserve better, sis.

Please don't just give out because some guy hits on you and you're bored. Know that you are worth so much more than that. You deserve a guy who is going to cherish you, pursue you, be loyal to you, respect you and take care of you. A man who will lead you. Don't settle for just a scrub.

Wait for a real man.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

7 Fun Facts About The Eiffel Tower

The iconic landmark is reinventing itself with a splashy new color.

Eiffel Tower

Soon, the 2024 Summer Olympics are coming to Paris, and the Eiffel Tower will be in the spotlight.

Embedded so much into Paris's identity, the iconic landmark is no stranger to historic events and world-class gatherings over the years. It is sure to shine again.

Keep Reading... Show less

Blue Skies Weren't Always Blue

You don't just start as the person you are meant to be; there is a journey full of ups and downs that mold a person, so this is my journey.

Blue Skies Weren't Always Blue

Overall I'd love to say I grew up a happy overly enthusiastic child that was taught to love herself and be loved by everyone else, but I can't say that and I never will. My smile wasn't always as bright as it is today, but this is the story behind my smile, the story about how I got here to the happiest place I'll ever be. I'll begin at freshman year of high school.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Heart Wants what the Heart Wants

Just remember sometimes it is gonna hurt, whether we want it to or not!

The Heart Wants what the Heart Wants
Where to start...... Let me start with the cliche that life throws us curveballs and what we do with it is what counts.

One day he walked into my life. UNEXPECTED! And one day he walked out!

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

See which conversations rose to the top on Odyssey this week!


New response writers means exciting new conversations on Odyssey! We're proud to spotlight our talented creators and the topics that matter most to them. Here are the top three response articles of last week:

Keep Reading... Show less

Heart on a Wet Sleeve

No one prepares you for the honeymoon phase wearing off

Heart on a Wet Sleeve

Let's start off with the simple fact that God made everyone differently. That statement could not be more evident. We try to embrace our differences and set ourselves apart from the rest of the world. What that doesn't prepare us for is when we yearn for a characteristic of someone else. For example, have you ever met someone who can experience this great heart ache and hardly shed a tear? This person just had their heart ripped out and they find a way to carry themselves through it with great composure. Well, not all of us have that desirable trait. Some of us wear our hearts on our wet sleeves. When a person has their heart on their sleeve, it can be viewed as a good thing, that the individual isn't shallow. However,

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments