There's No Right Way To Live

There's No 'Right' Way To Live My Life, So You Can Keep Your White Picket Fence

Life is full of expectations, and sadly, most of them come from other people.


Life is full of expectations, and sadly, most of them come from other people.

There are milestones that young people are expected to hit in life. If they're late to these, they invite criticism from family members, friends and even complete strangers who have supposedly made the "right" choices.

If they refuse to strive for these milestones altogether, they're deemed bizarre and offered unsolicited advice about how they should change themselves.

First, you need to get a good job. And, no, I'm not just talking about finding enjoyable work that pays the bills. The enjoyment doesn't matter. You need a "respectable" position, complete with benefits and a high salary. Anything else is deemed unworthy and judged accordingly.

Your personal goals and dreams don't matter, apparently. It's all about the money and the benefits, with your happiness coming in last every time.

Next, you're expected to buy a home. And, sure, some of us would love to buy our own living space — but owning a home requires people to make sacrifices, from resigning themselves to one place to putting aside other financial ventures.

And finally, you're expected to get married and start a family. These are especially pushed if you're a woman. At a certain age, people are likely to just start asking when you're planning on popping out another human being — as though this is a decision that barely requires any consideration whatsoever.

The problem is, not everyone wants these things. But, as a society, we refuse to acknowledge that fact.

Too many of us believe we've cracked the code. We've found the "correct" way to live, and everyone else should follow in our footsteps. But there is no "right" way to do anything.

Everyone has their own path to follow, and that path is based on an individual's values and goals. Those may differ drastically from yours. And guess what? That is completely and totally OK.

Some of us would rather struggle financially than accept a dull job just because it offers decent benefits.

Some of us would rather travel the world, or move from place to place than be stuck paying a mortgage for the rest of our existence.

Some of us don't give a damn about marriage. It doesn't guarantee you'll stay together, and you can have a perfectly meaningful relationship without a diamond on your finger.

Some of us might not want children — yes, even if we have a perfectly functional uterus. (Try not to keel over from shock.)

And it's OK if you do want these things. Just stop pushing your desires onto other people.

Life isn't a race or a competition, and most of the people who treat it this way aren't actually happy with their own circumstances. Why else would you judge someone else for making choices that deviate from your own?

If we all lived the same lives, the world would be a dreadfully boring place.

Allow people to do what works for them. Allow them to choose when — and if — they want to reach your milestones.

And most importantly, stop harassing young people at family parties and social gatherings.

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To The Girl Who Isn't Graduating On Time, It Won't Feel Any Less Amazing When You Do

Graduating is something to be proud of no matter how long it takes you.


To the girl who isn't graduating college "on time,"

I promise, you will get there eventually, and you will walk across that graduation stage with the biggest smile on your face.

You may have a different journey than the people you grew up with, and that is OKAY. You may have some twists and turns along the way, a few too many major changes, a life change, you may have taken most of a semester off to try to figure your life out, and you're doing the best you can.

Your family and your friends don't think less of you or your accomplishments, they are proud of your determination to get your degree.

They are proud of the woman you are becoming. They don't think of you as a failure or as someone any less awesome than you are. You're getting your degree, you're making moves towards your dreams and the life that you have always wanted, so please stop beating yourself up while you see people graduating college on time and getting a job or buying a car.

Your time will come, you just keep doing what you need to do in order to get on that graduation stage.

Your path is set out for you, and you will get there with time but also with patience. The place you're at right now is where you are supposed to be. You are going to thrive and you are going to be the best version of you when you graduate and start looking for a company that you will be proud to work for. Don't look on social media and feel less than, because at least you're still working towards your degree that you are finally passionate about. You will be prepared. You will be ready once the time comes and you cross the stage, move away, and start your journey in whatever field you're going into.

Don't question yourself, and be confident in your abilities.

With love,

A girl who isn't graduating on time

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I'm Not The Person I Was In High School And I'm Not Sorry I Changed

I'm sorry, the old me can't come to the phone right now.


If those who knew me in high school hung out with me now, they probably wouldn't recognize me. If my friends from college hung out with me around two years ago, they probably wouldn't recognize me. It's safe to say I've changed... a lot. I definitely find the change to be for the better and I couldn't be happier with the person I've become.

In high school, I would sit at home every night anxiously waiting to leave and go out. Now, honestly, going out is the last thing I want to do any night of the week. While everyone in college is at a fraternity party or at the bars, I prefer to sit at home on the couch, watching Netflix with my boyfriend. That's an ideal night for me and it is exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do a couple of years ago. There's nothing wrong with going out and partying, it's just not what I want to do anymore.

I craved attention in high school. I went to the parties and outings so I could be in Snapchats and photos, just so people would know I was there. I hung out with certain groups of people just so I could say I was "friends" with so-and-so who was so very popular. I wanted to be known and I wanted to be cool.

Now, I couldn't care less. I go to the bars or the parties if I really feel like it or if my friends make me feel bad enough for never going anywhere that I finally decide to show up. It's just not my scene anymore and I no longer worry about missing out.

If you could look back at me during my junior year of high school, you probably would've found me searching for the best-ranked party schools and colleges with the best nearby clubs or bars. Now, you can find me eating snacks on the couch on a Friday night watching the parties through other peoples' Snapchats.

Some may say that I'm boring now, and while I agree that my life is a little less adventurous now than it was in high school, I don't regret the lifestyle changes I've made. I feel happier, I feel like a better person, I feel much more complete. I'm not sorry that I've changed since high school and I'm not sorry that I'm not living the typical "college lifestyle." I don't see anything wrong with that life, it's just not what makes me happy and it's not what I want to do anymore.

I've become a different person since high school and I couldn't be happier about it. I have a lot that's contributed to the change, but my boyfriend definitely was the main factor as he showed me that staying in can be a million times better than a night out. My interests and my social cravings have completely transitioned into that of an 80-year-old grandma, but I don't regret it.

Change doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, it can bring a lot more happiness and comfort. The transition from high school to college is drastic, but you can also use it as an opportunity to transition from one lifestyle to another. I don't regret the lifestyle flip I made and I couldn't be less apologetic about it.

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