There Are 0 Scientific Reasons To Drink Ice Cold Pus, AKA 'Dairy Milk'

There Are 0 Scientific Reasons To Drink Ice Cold Pus, AKA 'Dairy Milk'

And no, I'm not about to preach to you about how we abuse cows!

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Even if you're not vegan or vegetarian, it's important to realize that dairy milk is bullshit— especially during this new years resolution season. Milk's weaknesses are strikingly evident on its nutrition label. High volumes of saturated fat and sugar, along with a bit of unnecessary cholesterol, haunt even the nutrition labels of low-fat milk.

Per cup, basic low-fat milk contains 12 grams of sugar and 1.5 grams of saturated fat! Compared to a cup of unsweetened Almond Breeze which contains zero grams of either nutritional vice, that's a big difference. Not to mention dairy milk's substantially higher caloric density, at 110 calories per cup, it's far more than Almond Breeze's 30 calories per cup.

Some may argue that despite these drawbacks, dairy milk contains vital micro and macronutrients to live a healthy life. A study published by The U.S. National Library of Medicine of The National Institutes of Health bolsters these claims. In their study, health professionals found that the incorporation of milk into an individual's everyday diet decreased the risk of chronic diseases and helped them meet daily nutrient requirements— and that makes sense.

A cup of low-fat dairy milk does have vital micro and macronutrients. One cup has 30 percent of the average person's daily recommended intake of calcium and eight grams of protein. In an era where it's commonplace to settle for a cheap burger and fries for lunch or dinner (or even breakfast), a glass of milk, by comparison, is way better. You don't need me to tell you about the absurd amount of saturated fat that surely will be smothered in some high-sugar condiment. However, by comparison, milk substitutes are best.

Almond Breeze, for instance, contains 45 percent of your daily recommended intake of calcium. If you find you're not consuming enough protein, instead of dairy milk try either unsweetened soy or even Bolthouse Farms unsweetened Pea Protein Milk. The latter numbers at 10 grams of protein, as compared to dairy milk's eight.

Ultimately though, it's your decision to make the switch. Not for humanitarian reasons or debates about the amount of puss greenlit into milk— but nutritionally. Will the intake of added sugar without fiber regularly spike your blood sugar? Do those minute percentages of micro and macronutrients really matter? Personally, I answer yes to both. What do you think?

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How To Play 'New Girl's' True American Drinking Game

"It's 75% drinking, 20% Candy Land, and the floor is molten lava."
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I think it's fair to say that anyone who watches New Girl knows about True American. This crazy, non-sense drinking game which pops up every so often throughout the seasons and first introduced in Season 1 Episode 20.

The game, as described by New Girl character and fan-favorite Schmidt, is 75% drinking game and 20% Candy Land with a floor of molten lava.

The point of the game is for players to navigate through the Candy Land-like spaces to the "castle," which is a table in the center of the room that holds beer "pawns" and the "king" bottle. The first person to reach and sip from the bottle wins.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things "New Girl" Fans Know to Be True

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Here's how to play:

Step #1: Prepare the "castle"

First, set up your "castle." The castle is made up of beer "pawns" and the "king," a bottle filled with the alcohol of your choice.

The bottle should be in the middle of the table, surrounded by four lines of beer pawns. There is no exact number of beers necessary for each line of beer pawns. Choose any amount of beers that seems appropriate for the amount of players.

Step #2: Set up spaces

Set up spaces using pillows, chairs or any other objects players will be able to stand on. Place an equal amount of spaces around the table. You'll want about 5-8 spaces on each side, depending on the size of the room you're playing in.

Only four of these spaces should reach the castle, lining up with the parade of beer "pawns" and allowing players to take a beer pawn from the castle. For example, in the photo above, each of the chairs touch a corner of the table at the end of the line of beer pawns. Therefore, these are two of the four special spaces that allow players to take a beer. Unlike the pillows pictured, which are just regular spaces that the players can use to move around.

Step #3: Pick teams

Teams are optional. To pick teams, all of the players will place a certain number (1-5) of fingers against their forehead on the count of three.

Any players who hold up the same number are a team. Unmatched players can team up as needed or simply pair up with the person standing closest to them.

Step #4: Begin

Begin with a shotgun "tip-off" to determine which player goes first.

The winner of this shotgunning contest will yell, "One, two, three...JFK!" to announce the official beginning of the game. All players will enthusiastically respond, "FDR!" then quickly grab a beer pawn from the castle and run to any space they wish to start at, excluding for the four special spaces that reach the castle.

Step #5: Make moves

The winner of the shotgunning contest has earned the first turn. From then on, the order of turns will move in a clockwise rotation. During each turn, the player will move one space toward the castle and choose to play one of the following mini-games.

Mini-game number one: the player whose turn it is will count to three then all players will place a certain number (1-5) of fingers on their forehead. Any player who selects a number no one else selected can move ONE space.

Mini-game number two: the player whose turn it is will recite the beginning of a famous American quote. The first player to complete the quote can move TWO spaces.

Mini-game number three: the player whose turn it is will name two famous American people, places or things. The first player to identify what the two have in common can move THREE spaces.

For example, say it's your turn. You will move one space then choose one of the three mini-games. You and all of the players will participate in that game, and the winner will move accordingly. After this, your turn is over and it's the next player's turn (in the original clockwise rotation).

Step #6: "Play on, playa."



Continue playing by these rules until one lucky winner reaches the bottle and sips from its royal glass.

The bottle cannot be opened until every last pawn is removed from the castle. Any players who fail to keep at least one beer in hand, who accidentally end up with more than three beers in hand, or who touch the lava are immediately disqualified. Disqualified players can rejoin the game by shotgunning a beer.

Congratulations!

You are now able to impress all of your New Girl-loving friends with knowledge of the workings of the epic True American drinking game. Know your limits, drink responsibly and enjoy!

Cover Image Credit: i.amz.mshcdn.com

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11 Mixed Drinks You Should Try At Least Once

Let me help you make your palette sophisticated. :)

JordynL
JordynL
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Please enjoy responsibly! (And legally)

1. Tequila Sunrise

My mom's favorite

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Orange juice, grenadine, and a double shot of tequila.

2. Strawberry Daiquiri

My personal favorite

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Strawberries, strawberry liqueur (optional, only if you don't use a lot of real strawberries), sweet&sour mix, and rum.

3. Sex On The Beach

Memee's personal favorite

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Pineapple juice, pineapple garnish, orange juice, cranberry juice, peach schnapps, and vodka

4. Pina Colada

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Colada mix, double shot of rum, and a "splash" of pineapple juice (tsp)

5. Hurricanes

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Light AND dark rum, passion fruit juice, orange juice, lime juice, and a cherry to top it off.

6. Jager Bombs 

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Jagermeister shot and a half shot of Red Bull.

7. Fuzzy Navel

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Double shot of peach schnapps and orange juice.

8. Whiskey Sours

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Double shot of whiskey, sweet&sour mix, and a orange slice&cherry garnish.

9. Bahama Mama

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Grenadine, sweet&sour mix, orange juice, pineapple juice, light, dark, and spiced rum.

10. Blow Jobs

Blow Job

Irish cream, coffee liqueur, SMALL amount of vodka (on top of liqueur), with whipped cream.

The trick about this type of blow job is NO HANDS. You have to pick it up with your mouth, throw it back, and put it back down. NO HANDS. It adds to the fun ;)

11. Long Island Ice Tea

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Vodka, light rum, gin, silver tequila, triple sec liqueur, lemon shots, with a lemon wedge garnish.

Don't knock it till you try it!

JordynL
JordynL

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