This weekend, I was home for spring break, and just a few minutes after I arrived, my parents brought a stack of books into my room. I asked who they were from, and they said that the cashier we love at the Walgreens, who is the sweetest man alive, bought these books for me and my boyfriend (whom he has never met) because he was thinking of me and thought these books would be good for a young person in college. I wanted to cry, but I didn't understand why I was so overwhelmed by this gesture. Then I realized, no one really cares about each other in college.

I know now you're thinking, "I care about my friends/boyfriend/girlfriend/etc! How can she say that??" Let me explain. College is the time in our lives where we must be fiercely selfish. We have been taken care of our whole lives and now is the first time we are living on our own. We have to learn to take care of ourselves. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with being selfish or looking out for yourselves in college. I actively encourage my residents to do what makes them happy, and to screw it if that hurts anyone else's feelings. Don't be malicious, of course, but do what you want unapologetically. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, as college students will likely be answering to someone else for the rest of their lives once they graduate.

The friends I have in college are some of the best I've ever had. I've found the person whom I believe to be my soulmate. I care about them and they care about me, but in a way that still puts ourselves first. We just don't have the time, money, or energy to care. We're using it to function as adults for the first time.

I think this lack of unconditional, selfless love really adds to the high levels of stress and mental illness in college. We are constantly competing with each other for jobs, internships, grades, you name it. You have to put yourself out there, and you can't really help each other get the job you both want. It can be very isolating. When I go home, I usually spend all my time with my parents, as I have little to no high school friends left (shocker) and I am an only child. To be around people who have the mental energy and resources to care about me, and do things for me that come with no consequences or no expectations, simply because they love me, is so magical. In college, the hallmark of a close friendship is walking someone home after they start puking (though a real friend would never let you throw up in the first place!). Would I love to shower my boyfriend in gifts every chance I get? Yes, of course. Would I love to have the mental energy to constantly keep in contact with my friends and never have to ditch them because I'm so stressed or too busy? Absolutely. That's just not possible in college. I don't even have a kitchen to make surprise cookies for people. I don't have the hours in the day to sit down and have deep conversations with people because I'm constantly looking out for myself.

However, I know my friendships will only get stronger from here on out. I know that the late-night heart to hearts, the handmade sorority crafts, and the simple times bonding over stupid reality TV will lead to deep, caring relationships that will last me a lifetime. But i can't help but feel that there is something missing in my life every time I leave home to come to college. There's a void that comes with being independent. The thing that gets me is: I will never really live at home again, not in a way that isn't somewhat temporary. That breaks my heart. With changing dorms and roommates and classmates every eight months, there just isn't time to make a home in college, and I think that's where a lot of that feeling of care comes from. I love my friends, and they love me, but I can never really go home again.

Take some time this week, and every week, to do something selfless for a friend, partner, or just person you kind of know in class. Buy them a snack you know they love, or hang out with them without also doing work at the same time. I promise, it will make a world of difference. Let's make college feel like home. Let's learn to care.