I haven’t hugged my best friend in ten years. This isn’t some sad story about how we’re not friends anymore, or how she’s so far away I just haven’t seen her. Nope. I see her, quite often actually considering that we live about three hours apart from one another. But we made a pact shortly after we met that we just couldn’t hug each other anymore. Why? Because it’s dangerous. The thought of running up to my best friend and aggressively wrapping my arms around her gives me a little anxiety. One of us might get hurt. There could be bruised lungs or broken ribs to deal with. How in the world are we supposed to even manage to get our arms around each other? No, our boobs were just too big to have a normal best friend relationship.
This is the conversation that we had in the fifth grade. We were 11 and 12 years old, respectively, and we had to make a conscious effort to not get too close to one another to avoid an accidental bump that would cause one of us to fly across to the other side of the room.
I find it troublesome that now, being 22 years old, I still have people tell me that I should be lucky to have large breasts. I should be happy because “That’s what guys like” and “They look good in V-necks.” I just nod and smile and all the while think to myself about how I can NEVER wear strapless things without having a long conversation with the Lord asking him to secure my chest so that nothing pops, flips, or falls out. I don’t tell them how I have had to give up on button downs all together for fear of one of my buttons flying off and hitting someone in the eye. Don’t even get me started on the day I realized that I had grown to a size that Victoria Secret will never sell. Do you know what it’s like to look down and see your feet? I don’t.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love the body that God gave me. Sometimes having large breasts is beneficial. They’re built in crumb catchers, babies and animals love them, and they make great makeshift plates and cup holders. However, having people tell me that they wish they were my size is pretty awkward. They come with a lot of unwanted attention, especially at the pool or gym, and they can cause some serious neck and back pain.
All of this is to say that if I could give away half of my breasts then I would in a heartbeat. Trust me, #bigboobproblems didn’t just come out of nowhere. Whether you have big breasts or small breasts, it is still important to love what you have. Remember, the grass is not always greener on the other side.
