For the first time in my life, I am not obsessing over being skinny. I don't dream about having a thigh gap, or fitting into jeans I could wear my freshman year. Frankly, I am over the idea of being small and decided to take charge of my body. By doing so, I ended up trying something new. A lot of people try the short "30-day workout and meal plan" guides to shed a little weight. But that isn't what I wanted. I wasn't going to just do this for 30 days and then go back to the way I was. I was going to change my lifestyle.
I began lifting and I started with the basics. I received guidance from a certified personal trainer and started focusing on what I ate as well. I didn't cut calories or all junk food out of my diet. Instead, I made sure that I was putting enough protein, vitamins and vegetables in my body. By the end of my first week lifting and eating healthier, it became less about losing weight and looking skinny, and more about getting stronger and feeling healthier. It was no longer about wearing the smallest size on the rack, but about building lean muscle and my confidence.
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I feel somewhat liberated. For the longest time, I didn't enjoy going to the gym and only worked out because I was unhappy with my body. Now, I want to go to the gym because I love my body. I enjoy being in there because it makes me feel like I've accomplished something. It only took me 19 years, but I no longer obsess over the idea of being skinny — I believe in being healthy. Honestly, I have never been able to say those words before, and my hope is that one day every girl and guy has the ability to feel the way I feel. I hope people stop placing such impossible standards on one another and are not just happy in their own skin, but practice healthy eating and exercise habits to be the best version of themselves.