I often catch myself thinking "maybe I should go to ladies night this week" or "maybe I should go to that frat party all of my friends are going to."
In reality, I could care less about that frat party and I would rather take a bath or read a book than go to ladies night.
BUT, I have slowly come to the realization that not doing something because my friend's want me to or because that's what all of the other people around me are doing is OK.
If you are having a constant battle with yourself because you feel like you always need to be going out to the cool places or doing things that your friends are doing/want you to be doing but you don't really want to - I'm here to tell you that being a little "selfish" is perfectly fine.
Saying "no" too happy hour because you want to light some candles and read a book, go for a nature walk, take a bath, practice yoga, binge-watch "Grey's Anatomy" or indulge yourself in a face-mask is not being selfish but rather just making time to take care of yourself.
By saying "no" to constantly bending your decisions for your friends you will begin to realize that this will open up numerous doors to saying "yes" to things that make you a better person or help you learn more about yourself which are both things that are underestimated in their importance to your life.
If the people you choose to surround yourself with don't respect your decision to not go to happy hour or that crazy frat party because you want to spend time with yourself this shouldn't make you feel like any less of a person because you are being who you want to be and you should never feel ashamed of that.
Chances are if they are truly your friend they will respect your decision anyway.
So, always keep in mind:
It's OK to spend time with yourself and focus on who you want to be and what you want to be doing.
It's OK to say no to plans, even ones you may have already created because you changed your mind and decided you don't want to go out but would rather spend the time to take care of yourself.
It's OK to do things that make YOU happy but may not necessarily make everybody else happy.
Life is so short and you should never feel like you have to do something because everybody else is doing it.
In fact, you shouldn't HAVE to do anything you don't want to do (regarding friends and plans) period.
If you don't want to go you shouldn't have to go and you shouldn't feel bad for saying "no" either.
You don't have to be that person that's always doing things that others want you to do for them or with them.
You don't have to be the soul that's persistently doing things to make everyone else happy.
And you don't have to feel like you're being selfish because you're doing something for yourself.
Only you truly know what you want and only you can make decisions for yourself regardless of how others may make you feel about them.
So, take some time this week to say "no" to something you'd rather not do and make some time to focus on yourself instead.
Make yourself a priority.
It's not selfish.
It's necessary.
