Whether it's donating that extra dollar, picking up a shift at work, or going out with someone you just met, no will always be an acceptable answer. I think that's something we always forget.
I'm definitely someone that doesn't like to use that word. It's not that I can't say it, it's the thought of how the other person is going to feel when I do say it. It feels as if I disappointed them and that's probably the worst feeling to have. I constantly want to say no, it goes through my head probably dozens of times in one day alone, but I don't do it. I'm the person that donates that extra 12 cents to the cashier, I'm the person that picks up that ridiculous shift because my boss asked me to, I'm the person that does what other people want to even if I don't, because I don't want to be that disappointment.
It's a little messed up, right? We are more worried about how the other person is going to react than how we are going to feel about doing it. That's how it typically goes also. We put this thought into our head that we must please other people, we must do what other people ask, we must put other people first at all costs, because if you don't, you are a shitty person. You are labeled as this person others can't count on and a person that doesn't care about anyone but themselves. We can't continue going on with that in our heads.
Say no. Say it just once and see how it makes you feel. You will not believe the relief you feel. It might feel so damn good that you won't have any regret saying it over and over again. What's the point of feeling guilty about doing it if it's something you wanted to do? It's not like you're going over the top, you're simply saying no to something you don't want to do. I wish I could explain that a little more or just enough so you understand where I'm coming from.
You'll also realize how happy you will be with yourself. Not just because you didn't have to go on that pointless date, but because you took charge in your own life and you finally did something you wanted to do. What's better than being happy? Nothing. I honestly can't think of anything better than simply being happy. There you go. Take charge, make yourself smile instead of worrying about everyone else's happiness for once in your life.
People will eventually get used it too. They realize that maybe you aren't always the one person to go to. They start to understand that you can't always please them and they get used to it. Maybe throw a "yes" in there once in a while, but not to the point where they expect it, that's what you want to avoid.
Just remember that you can't say yes to everyone. No is not a swear word, so stop being so worried about saying it.
Say no to work even if you don't have any other plans that day. Say no to that guy even if your friend tried so hard to set you guys up. Say no to the salad and yes to the extra slice of cake. Say no to the party and yes to movie night with your roommate. Most importantly, just say no to other people if you aren't 100% happy or comfortable with it yourself. You'll thank yourself later.
