The GOP debate this past week was something special. It is not every day that you get a debate quite as legendary as this one. With Trump winning big on Super Tuesday, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio were making last ditch attempts to tear Trump down. Obviously, The Donald fought back. It was a no-holds-barred type debate, and the entertainment it brought was phenomenal.
First things first, I've got to give a shout out to good old Ben Carson. For those of you that don't know, Ben Carson decided to end his campaign. Ben decided to skip this debate and shortly after ended his campaign. While this will have almost zero impact on the polls, it was a hit nonetheless. While he hasn't really had any chance at winning for the last month or so, Ben stuck in there. He was just enjoying the ride. He managed to never get attacked by anyone, and that is a feat that many wished they could've accomplished (RIP Jeb).
Anyway, back to the debate. There were many great one liners and insults thrown around. From Trump constantly referring to Marco Rubio as “little Marco” and Cruz telling Trump to breathe, this debate did not fall short of entertainment. There was even mention of Trump’s flexibility. From a realistic perspective, none of this has anything to do with being president. So what if is Rubio is short? Why does it matter if Trump is flexible? None of this matters at all. But let’s try to make some sense of it for the hell of it.
The height thing is kind of easy to understand. The taller you are, the more respect you command. The flexibility thing, well that’s a little harder to understand. The only way that flexibility can help is that is will prevent Trump from pulling a hammy. Pulling a hammy is rough. You walk with a pretty big limp for a while and struggle to move. When people see someone limping, they pity them. They always offer to hold doors for them or help them out in some way. The president of the United States should not be pitied. The president should be looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime -- looking like the absolute man, looking indestructible. If you walk out with a limp, you clearly are not indestructible. So with this method of thinking, being flexible is almost necessary to be president. (This makes zero sense but it’s the best I could do.)
The best line of the night was from The Donald, which should come as no surprise. In response to Rubio saying that Trump had little hands and insinuating that Trump wasn't packing much heat down there, Trump guaranteed that there was zero problem with his manhood. If you look at this from a solely critical standpoint, you would think that this was an absolutely outrageous thing to say during a presidential debate. But if you look at out from a little more relaxed perspective, you can see why this would be a somewhat important thing to bring up.
No man wants to be accused of not having much “manhood." Especially a man that wants to become president of the greatest country in the world. This is a man that will be throwing it down with other world leaders and going toe to toe with Vladimir Putin. And I guarantee Putin would have zero respect for a man with nothing down there. Putin rides horses shirtless and holds a cross bow. That guy is the definition of a man. So if you look at this a very certain way and don't think about how ridiculous this sounds, you would argue that it is a very necessary thing to say.
This debate was, once again, entertainment at its finest. From a political standpoint, it may end up sinking the Republican party, but at least it wouldn't be for nothing. If the Republicans are going to lose, at least I can get a few laughs out of watching the debates.
(P.S. shout out to John Kasich for actually being an adult and telling everyone to stop fighting. You're the man, John. You have zero shot at winning, but I respect the hell out of you.)
