It doesn’t.
My clothes weren’t calling you, and neither was my voice. I said no… I said it so many times. But I shouldn't have had to. The first no should’ve been enough.
I sat on the floor eating my ice, while you had sex with her.
I thought nothing of it… I thought you were a good guy. I thought that you were until she said to stop, because she had enough, and you kept going.
Consent can be taken away at any time. It doesn’t matter if she already had sex with you- she said stop, and that is when you should’ve.
I got up to make you stop. And you did. You let her go.
But me interrupting didn’t mean I wanted it. Even though that is what you thought.
You asked me again to have sex with you… But once again, I said no.
But to you, no meant yes.
You grabbed me by my hair, and forced me to blow you. I was crying but you didn’t stop. I bit you, but you just slapped me and made me keep going.
My crying wasn’t consent. I never gave you consent for anything.
But I guess you didn’t need it, because you kept going. You went on to rape me. And with every tear, and every no, you kept going. You finally stopped.
But I was stupid for thinking it was over.
You looked at me and said “you didn’t cum”. I knew that meant more trouble…
I tried to walk away, but you grabbed me again. You threw me on the bed until I came. Because I came, that meant I wanted it right?
Wrong.
My lips quivered every time you thrusted, and I let out a small scream. But nobody answered.
Once I came, I really thought that it was done. You were done. But once again, you proved me wrong. You said, “Why did you get to cum, and I didn’t”. I told you that I didn’t want to cum, I didn’t want to have sex at all.
I tried to walk away again, But you wouldn’t let me get away. You weren’t finished yet. You covered my mouth this time, because you didn’t want to hear me scream “no” anymore.
That should’ve been your sign to stop. To stop something that never should’ve started. Part of me thought I deserved it, because I drank.
But I realized something… You cannot consent when under the influence, so even if I said yes, you should’ve taken it as a no. But I wasn’t too drunk to say no.
I said it loud and clear, and I said it more than once.
But you didn’t listen. I told you I didn’t want to have sex. I didn’t know you. You’ve been inside of me, and I don’t even know your last name.
You took something that is sacred and special to me, and you took it away. And with each thrust, you stomped on every piece of specialness it could have had left.
Did you know 60 percent of women never report their rape?
You probably did otherwise you might’ve stopped. But I am not part of that 60 percent. I will report you. Because I want to save the next girl. Because I shouldn’t even have to say next girl, because there will never be one. Because nobody deserves this. Nobody deserves to feel like an object.
I was in no way asking for it. My clothing may have been revealing, but that doesn’t mean I asked for it.
I never gave you consent to touch me.
I did everything I was supposed to do.
I said no.
I fought back.
I screamed.
I hit you.
I cried.
I did things I shouldn’t have ever had to do. And you made me do them. You had a power over me that night. But you don’t have a power over me today.
Today, I am strong.
I worked hard to get to this point.
To be happy and healthy.
You took a lot away from me, but my happiness is something you will never take.Since you believe that no means yes, let me tell you a few things in words you can understand
No I won’t report you.
No I won’t expose everything you did.
No I won’t press charges.
No I won’t help the next girl.
If no means yes, those are the only nos I have.
But no doesn’t mean yes, and crying isn’t consent.
