We seem to live in a society where listening is optional. We believe that we can take the words of someone and twist them in our heads so that it sounds like what we want. This is a dangerous but prevalent way of thinking, especially in terms of sex. We all are aware that “no means no”, and forcing someone to have sex in any physical way is rape. However some believe that if the conversation continues until one partner reluctantly agrees, that the act is now consensual.
If you are asked over and over to do any sexual activity, and you just do it out of guilt, pressure, or confusion, that is in no way consensual. Even if there was not physical force, if you are only doing something because you feel so much guilt that you have to, or you feel like you will not be left alone until you do it, that is not sex.
It doesn’t matter what you were wearing, how much you were drinking, or how friendly and forward you were being. It doesn’t matter if you said yes before and now you’re saying no, if you want to do something but not everything, if you’re in a relationship, or if you’re married, No one has the right to tell you what happens to your body. Sex is always mutual decision in which both people are in the state of mind to consent, otherwise it is assault and not sex.
Despite the slogan that “consent is sexy”, I strongly feel that it is not sexy, it is mandatory. It is vital that there is not silence, confusion, intoxication, or anything other than a strong “yes” from all parties involved. Consent should not be some trendy concept that we strive to implement into our sex lives, but something that needs to happen in order for sexual activity of any kind to occur.
When someone says no, it does not mean “maybe”, “let’s go somewhere else”, or “let’s talk about this more”, it means no, absolutely not, end of conversation. Coerced sex is not consensual sex. When someone is trying to coerce you, it is so clear that they do not care about you, your morals, or you feelings; they care about themselves.To anyone who has ever been pressured, guilted, or otherwise manipulated into doing any sexual activity at all: it’s not your fault. Always remember in the future that you do not owe anyone anything,
