One thing that I feel I should let my readers know is that deep down under all the attitude, harsh words, and ignored text messages in my phone, I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm not a girly girl but I do sometimes think about what my wedding day would be like. I think about what it would be like sharing life with my bestfriend because that's what the person you arewith should be. But to do all that you got to have a boyfriend ….something I don’t have. I'm also a realist and know that Im a bit much too handle at times which is my slick way of saying I don’t put up with bs. I often times wonder is this the reason that I don’t currently have a boyfriend. I'm not going to sit here and lie to you guys and say that I'm ALWAYS a chill and carefree person.When it comes to the matters of the heart I don’t ever think imchill. Sorry but honestly not sorry. In my head Imthinking of two things. I don’t like many people and I don’t have time. Two reasons I don’t have a boyfriend

Although I fully respect otherpeople's opinions, half the reason of why I despise people is because of the stupid things that come out their mouths on a VERY regular basis, along with the stupid bs they tend to do right after. The older I get the lower my tolerance is because I try to expand my mind and when Im around closed minded I tend to get agitated. It's not too often that I find a person that catches my attention and doesn’t start to annoy me. I only like to have good vibes and thoughtful conversation but during this day and time it'srare that you find you find one or both. When I find a person that can give that too me I really want to keep them around. Again, I lose my chill when I feel like this person may not be around because I hate losing good things or people. I'm trying to figure out did I say or do something for you to not want to be around me or where you just not the person I thought you was from the start? Is my personality a little to0 much for you and you can't handle it? Whatever the reason may be, IF I TRULY LIKE YOU, I want to know. I have to have some type of answer and if I don’t get it, this is when I lose my chill. This may lead guys to think you’re a crazy bitch

One of my biggest pet peeves is having my time wasted. Although Im only twenty years old I find myself trying to avoid giving guys my number. I see the same cycle of things happening over and over again and I think to myself, why not just cut out the middle man and don’t give this guy your number in the first place. I won't have to be bothered with being asked "what you doing," where you at" " when are you coming to see me. In the event that I do go and "see this person, bad directions are often times followed by boring conversation, an undecorated apartment and him trying to initiate sex. All this time could have been spent eating, watchingNetflix or even counting the dust particles floating in the air of my room because it's all more beneficial than this guy who is now, not going to get a text back.That seems chill right? Correct. I lose my chill when you keep texting and acting like you don’t get the hint that I'm ignoring you and asking me a million and one questions. I then will proceed to text you back in all capital letters going off on you. (Chill officially lost).

Now that I come to think of it guys. Maybe I'm truly an introvert who doesn’t like to be bothered. I'm a little clingy and might need to look into some abandonmentissues. LOL. But seriously maybe it’s the fact that I'm only twenty years old with a whole life ahead me and I should just chill.