Recently, I started thinking about middle school and the simplicity of everything that happened there.
I thought about how easy class was - though, to be honest, I'm not sure how I survived so many hours of sitting in a row without losing my small mind - and how easy building relationships with other children seemed to be. Of course, there were the mean girls who did not always invite the entire class to their birthday parties, but that seems to be a small crime in comparison to present life as an adult. But, my thoughts have also shifted to how simple crushes and middle-school romances occurred.
I remember how couples seemed to happen overnight, when they confessed on Kik Messenger that they shared a mutual crush built on a preference for Cool Ranch Doritos over Fritos, or some other simplicity, and that was that. Maybe they would dance around each other for a little while, maybe they would share a kiss out in the parking lot during recess, maybe they would break up.
In comparison, relationships now seem Mount Everest. Between flirting over Snapchat or liking a photo on Instagram to show interest, it appears to me that dating is almost more complicated than it's worth. Maybe I'm biased, because I've never been the type of girl that guys flock to; maybe my stomach is not perfectly flat, my face is a little too round, and I've never had an interest in makeup. Sure, maybe this is my way of sticking up to anytime a couple passed me on the sidewalk and I became painfully aware that I had no one to hold my hand. But is there something so wrong with that?
As cliche as it may sound, I have no reason to believe that having a boyfriend will fix all of my problems. Just because I have someone to send me a text in the morning does not mean that my stresses about the future will suddenly disappear, or that my skin will become clear in the blink of an eye. The way I see it, I am not in need of someone to be my other half or complete me, because I'm whole on my own.
Am I ready emotionally strong enough to handle the sort of mutual-reliance of relationships I've seen? Honestly, I do not have a solid answer for that question because I'm not entirely sure. I believe that I am a wholly independent person who does not need anyone else to be content with who I am, and I do not require the validation of a relationship to tell me that I am worthy of happiness. Would a relationship improve my life? Maybe, maybe not. Even if it did, I do not mean to say that I am unhappy now. I am happy just the way I am, and do not need to constantly search for someone. If I happen to cross another person who adds to my happiness, then who am I to say no?
However, as I currently stand on my own two feet, I am entirely happy on my own. No, I am not dependent on having a boyfriend to make me the person I am, and I do not need a boyfriend to be happy.