Let’s face it: Flirting is an art form—and not all of us are blessed savants in the discipline. No matter how hard some of us try, conversations between the opposite sex (or, ya know, same sex is cool, too) are just awkward, stiff, and never seem to end with a new contact in our phones. The dating scene is a cruel, cruel world that offers far too many opportunities for embarrassment and degradation. A bad flirt suffers through horrible struggles, often all in the same night, progressing through the stages of "bad," "really bad," and "I wish I was Patrick Star so I could live under a rock." Here is a night in the life of a bad flirt, as told by the astoundingly genius, but amusingly socially awkward characters of "The Big Bang Theory":

So you're out with your friends having a wonderful time:

And you're feeling fabulous:

When out of nowhere, someone attractive approaches, and you instantly lose your cool:

...And your filter:

If they ask you how you're doing, you proceed to reveal a little too much, too soon:

You then follow up by taking their jokes too literally:

You realize your mistake and look around desperately for reassurance, only to find your friends looking at you like:

To recover, you try some flirty gestures:

Or maybe you toss in a little head-nod/eye-sparkle combo:

Which will probably have your suitor doing this:

You look around and find others exuding confidence:

Which has you rolling your eyes:

But... maybe you should try it:

And, shocker, they didn't go for it:

You're losing them and you're desperate—maybe they're into impressions:

You realize maybe it's best to just sit and look pretty and let them do the talking instead:

At this point, your interest is just kind of like:

So you hope you can salvage your impression with an alluring goodbye:

Which you realize was a horrible mistake:

And you are left to run home and hide your face from the world:

This night has only convinced you that you are destined to die alone:

Well, not entirely alone—at least you'll have your cats: