There is a common phrase among young men: “Nice guys finish last.” This refers to the idea that girls don’t like to go after stereotypical “nice guys,” and prefer dating “bad boys” for a variety of reasons. But, this demeaning phrase does nothing but point out pathetic male entitlement, and make these “nice guys” all the more annoying.

For some non-sequitur reason, many nice guys feel that if they are super nice to a girl, she will like him more and become romantically interested in him. Although it is true that being nice to people helps make the world go around smoother, being nice to girls hoping that they’ll want to date you is just deceptive and manipulative.

When these guys are nice to girls and then make their feelings known, they often use the excuse of being “friendzoned” when said girls don’t want to date them. This idea perpetuates the false assumption that a girl has grown to see you more like a brother than a potential romantic partner. The truth is that she likely never considered you as a romantic interest to begin with, and being nice to her is not going to change the fact that she’d like to keep your face a good, friendly distance from hers. Besides, is a girl who only dates "bad boys" really a girl you'd want to date? Chances are we'd be so paranoid about her cheating that the relationship would implode quickly anyway.

When nice guys are shot down by these girls who “just want to be friends,” they often become angry or full of angst, saying “nice guys finish last.” But here’s a newsflash, gentlemen: girls are not obligated to be romantically interested in you just because you are nice to them!

You should be nice to people for your own sake. And besides, you have nothing to lose if she turns you down. Part of the problem is that many nice guys will dwell on a crush they’ve had for a while, and when she turns out not to share the same feelings toward them, they blame her for being stupid and/or heartless enough to shatter their dreams.

Now, I’m not blind to the fact that this can happen the other way around. Gentlemen, think about it like this: how would you react if a girl you don’t have a romantic interest in expresses romantic feelings toward you? Are you obligated to date her? No, of course you aren’t! In the same way you aren’t obligated to like someone who likes you, girls are not obligated to reciprocate your feelings.

Now sometimes you’ll come across someone you like who, amazingly, likes you back! This is an exciting experience, and there are an endless number of possibilities that can stem from this discovery. But it would be foolish to believe that everybody you’ve ever had a crush on likes you back, so why do we often behave as though it’s true?

Besides, in the long run, many people end up being more attracted to people who are more stable and established. Having goals and achieving them is going to last you a lot longer, and make you more attractive to others, than some other dude who’s riding on his “swag” to get him where he wants to be in life. So in the long run, nice guys really finish first. Be content being single for a while, treat people kindly and pursue your professional and educational goals. Along the way you'll meet some pretty awesome people, even some who may be interested.

Stay classy!