Nice guys have heard this grating phrase with patient ears before: you're a really nice guy. "Really" and "nice," a double superlative just for me? I know sarcasm isn't so nice but some might argue that it's the nicest sense of humor you could have. It's hard to gauge where someone's intentions lie and from a nice guy's perspective, it all seems lost on others he tries to connect with.
Nice is an adjective, passive in meaning. It's a sincere way of saying that you're a pushover, but the best kind of pushover. You're a human coat rack and the only thought you have is how helpful you're being holding up all those coats when the owners return and eventually come back for more help. Being nice doesn't help you, nor should it if you are being genuine.
Nice means being selfless. Granted the guy is being nice, it is not without his reasons. These reasons are inclusive, for both himself and whoever he is being nice to. There are no expectations except to be nice and nice in return. Nice means being kind. Nice means having standards.
I'm a nice guy, I always have been, and I don't plan on changing that. What sets me apart from the stereotype however is that I don't live with the expectation that people will reciprocate my kindness. I don't have the hopeless romantic mentality when I find out I'm in the exclusive club known as the friend zone.
Do I get offended when people are unkind or characterize and use me as the expendable "nice guy?" Yes, it hurts me to know people care only enough to get what they want or to make me another bullet point on their résumé. One thing that's saved me from many headaches and heartaches over time is this: I can control me.
I can still be nice even though the day isn't going to be. I choose not to let anyone steal my joy but that choice doesn't come from a selfish place. There are nice guys, the ones who are kind and unassuming.
Then there are Nice Guys, the ones who only measure out their kindness and behave enough to show you that they are capable of being an understanding, agreeable human being to achieve their desires through you, not with you.
Nice Guys give nice guys a bad name. I'm more of a middling nice guy, I don't blow over in the wind but I won't yell up a storm either. If you ask me a question, I will give an honest answer.
Not every nice guy is blissfully ignorant of the founded and unfounded cruelty in the world. We're not doormats for the mud you track, we're doors that close as easily as they open.
It's nice to be nice but if there is no self-worth, if there is any self-interest, then you're not being nice to yourself and you're not being nice to others for the right reasons.
People call him a nice guy to establish immediate and short-lived rapport for when it is convenient for them. Nice guys are acknowledged for what they are, not who they are. Nice isn't a commodity, it's a rarity, and when you have it, do not spare it too much or spend it too little. Just be nice, guys.
Nice is a quality that's less artificial than a charm or flirt and more natural than workplace decorum. Show how nice you could and should be, not how nice you would be.
