We judge people. Whether we want to admit it or not, we judge people. The difference between a good person and a not-so-good one is that those judgements are left silent, captured within the metaphorical brick walls of our mind.

All my life, I’ve had people judge me. Not for the fact that I collect gnomes and name them after Shakespeare characters or that I blush too deeply when I get embarrassed or because I’m an extreme introvert until I’m not…but because I’m too nice.

Yes, you heard me. Let me say again.

I’m too nice.

I didn’t know there was such a thing, but since I was a kid I’ve been told that I am—as if being too nice is a bad thing. Well, let me tell you, being too nice doesn’t say a thing about me other than that I’m a nice person. But I think that some people tend to think that being too nice means that I’m a goodie-two-shoes or that I’m gullible or easy to walk all over.

It doesn’t.

Let me let you in on a little secret: I judge people in my mind, I consider keeping the money I find on the streets, I can be a right down cranky witch when I want to, and sometimes I don’t hold the door open for people because they’re walking too slow. I may be nice, but I’m also human. Being nice doesn’t mean that I’m perfect in every way—if that was the case, then the world would hold a lot more nice people.

And because I’m human, I also must say that being called “too nice” in a way that suggests that my niceness is wrong in some way is hurtful. Extremely hurtful. In a way that makes me wonder if I need to start being meaner, if I need to muddy up my personality, if I need to growl at people instead of smile at them. Of course I always realize that I don’t need to—that nice is who I am and there a lot worse things to be than “nice.” I just wish people would realize that. Realize that being nice isn’t a bad thing and that when you think it is, then you’re chipping away at nice people’s self-esteem—that you’re tearing down all the things that make me nice to make yourself feel better.

Because if you think it’s possible for a person to be too nice, then maybe you need to think about that. Maybe you need to reevaluate your definition of nice. Wonder if I’m too nice, then what you are? Not nice? Kind of nice? OK nice? Fake nice?

So while the world calls me too nice, I’m going to keep on smiling at random people and do whatever I can to help me. Not because I’m a pushover or I put myself on a high pedestal, but because it’s the right thing to do. The nice thing.