Moving to New York from... anywhere.. will provide you with a whole new set of opportunities and experiences. You will learn a lot about yourself, as well as humankind. You will keep learning every day. You're feelings and opinions on everything will likely shift back and forth and for a long time, you may feel confused and lost.
That is absolutely okay. Every New Yorker goes through a lot of mixed feelings when they first move here. The city can feel like a world of its own, but there if really not one New York City. Sometimes it can feel like the city of contradictions.
Here are a few contradicting feelings that every new New Yorker will experience.
1. You will become more patient... and you lose all understanding of the word "wait."
All new Yorkers become accustomed to waiting for their turn. You can’t get anything in this city without first doing your time in line. Also, most of us travel pretty far to do… anything. You come to understand that you will be spending a lot of your time in transit. You will spend a lot of time waiting, and you will get good at it.
Still, even though we get used to the 30-60 minute commute we suffer every day, and the time it takes to get to any of our friend apartments, or even to the grocery store, not to mention getting through the line in the grocery store, we are still so impatient. The orange hand on the traffic sign cannot turn to the walking man fast enough. The trains are never fast enough. Even though you can take a travel a distance that used to require an entire day of traveling in just 40 minutes on an express train, nothing moves fast enough. It defines of the New York spirit.
We are good at waiting, but we still want everything to happen now.
2. You will become more compassionate... and you will become great at ignoring people and their problems.
When you realize how much you can relate to millions of people, it will give you a greater sense of empathy. You'll see that every single person is fighting their own battle every single day. You will realize that though we are extremely diverse, we are not all that different. It makes you want to be good and kind to other's.
Still, you will likely be busy, as everyone in this city is all the time, and you will realize that you just can't help everyone. People make fun of New Yorkers for being jaded, but it's something we need to be in order to get by. If we spent all our time feeling for each other's problems, we would never have time for ourselves. At some point, you'll stop giving money to people with cardboard signs, dance routines on the subway will be more of a nuisance than entertainment, and you will learn the speeches of the regular panhandlers on your daily train by heart and stop feeling bad for not giving “at least a smile.” New Yorkers aren’t bad people. They’re just all doing what they have to do. They just know that sometimes, the most kind thing they can do is keep to themselves and allow things to run smoothly for everyone else.
3. You will make lots of friends... and you will feel so lonely.
There is truly a place for everyone here. When you’re surrounded by millions of people, odds say that there will be some in that pool that share your interests. And with a millions things to do, and events to attend, and opportunities to meet new people every day, you can definitely find them. And you will.
The only problem is, when you are searching for your perfect match in a huge pool, they can be a little bit harder to find. For awhile, it will seem like you have a lot of acquaintences, and very few friends. And since everyone here is always busy, it’s even harder to find a good friend with a schedule that allows the two of you to spend time together. Everyone feels it at some point. The crowds will feel isolating.
Have no fear. You will find your nieche. It exists somewhere in this huge city. It may just take some time to find it. Don’t give up. It will make you strong. And when you find your place, when you feel that sense that you are really at home, it will be so rewarding.
4. You will learn to love spontaneity... and you will find comfort in routine.
Every New Yorker, at least of those that like to go out, can tell you at least one story of a never-ending night. With so much to do all the time, you can walk outside one day with no plans and by just saying “yes” to the things that appear in front of you, suddenly find yourself having a better day than you ever imagined. It’s exhilerating to be able to just decide to do something at any moment, hop on a train, or walk a few blocks, and be there in no time. You buy tickets to Broadway shows at the theatre the day of the show. You can get tickets to concerts moments before the main act goes on stage. You can leave a party at 3am, go get ice cream, then walk halfway across of the Brooklyn Bridge to watch the sun rise.
But most of our days, we like having a routine. A lot of us like getting up at the same time, getting our coffe from the same cart, taking the same train to work at the same time every day, picking up dinner at the same place on the way home, and going to bed at the same time that night. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s very nice to have a system. Having a consistent schedule is good for one’s sanity. It makes things easy and it feel comfortable.
The great thing about this city is that you can make yourself uncomfortable when you want to. When the scheduled life gets boring, you can hop on a train to Coney Island, or muse at paintings in the Met, or… really anything you can think of at almost any time.
5. You will crave life outside... and you will never want to leave.
I'd bet that everyone that has ever lived on NYC has said it at some point.
"I really need to get out of the city."
The constant movement of this world can be extremely exhausting. And when you live here long enough it can really feel like there is New York, and then there is... everything else. You will probably crave a less bustling life at some point.
That doesn't mean you don't belong. Seriously, every New Yorker, no matter how much they love the city, needs to be part of the everything else once in awhile. But after you go out there, you will probably only appreciate this big, awesome, weird world more. You will miss feeling like the world is only a train stop away. For those who fall in love with this city, it feels like it's really all here. This place becomes a part of you, if you let it. The buzz and a hustle will be welcoming and comforting and you will always be happy when you come back.
The city is always changing, and you will change with it. And it's fine to never really be sure how you feel about it. Everyone seems to have a mixed-feeling relationship with it. You can love the city without having one solid opinion about it. Your relationship with it may be strange and rocky, but it will always be exciting.
