How your New Years resolution will actually turn out....

The famous " this year I am going to lose weight"....aka you're going to spend the first week of the year on the couch with potato chips and Netflixs debating what gym you'll join when you're back at school....which will be none.

Or the lovely " I'm going to eat healthy"...Sorry hun, but just because pizza technically consists of a lot of vegetables - the tomato sauce, and dairy- also known as the overly greasy cheese, it's not healthy

Then comes the funny one, " this year I am going to make better choices." Well...judging by the Plan B box in your trash and your lack of memories from last weekend I'd say that didn't happen....

Or even better, "New year- New boys!!!" Sooo you got dumped over Christmas break and your friends said, " oh fu** him anyways! it's time for a new boy!" or you decided this year you're going to stop believing all the lies ( how many times can you realllllllly catch him before it gets boring- come onnn). But as soon as the new year rolls around so does his charm and cute face, plus he's picking up some new lying strategies over break, and BAM here it goes again....

Next, " this year I am going to get my life in order."....let me just ask- do you even know what classes you're registered for next week? Yes classes do begin. Are those books ordered? Have you thought about anything other than which parties you'll attend during syllabus week....

Lastly, " in 2015 I am finally going to be happy." Well I am glad you got to 2015 even though you were so miserable, but good news there's a news update: In 2015 it will rain gumdrops and sugar plums! The world is going to be magical..finally! Hope you get that unicorn you've always wanted for your Birthday this year!!!

Happy New Year to the same old you, and next year maybe your resolution should to make a resolution that will actually be kept....