Let me ask you this question:
It's the first week or so into 2019- how many of you have already broken your new year resolutions?
Yeah, me too..
I actually hadn't planned on making any new year resolutions for 2019. On the first day, Julianne Hough posted a quote:
"New GOALS don't deliver new results. New LIFESTYLES do. And a lifestyle is not an OUTCOME, it is a PROCESS. For this reason, all of your ENERGY should go into building better RITUALS, not chasing better RESULTS."
This is something I think the majority of our parents tell us as children growing up, but not really this straight forward. I know when I was playing softball, I would get inside my head and stressed out to the point of not doing well because I would focus on getting the hit, or making that out, or how I was going to make that double play. But my dad would always tell me just to focus on one play at a time. Don't worry about what will happen, just play the game that I love. But I never really thought about that idea being applied in different contexts.
With school, we are so consumed with how well we do in a class, and we want to make those A's. We stress and consume ourselves with that outcome or EXPECTATION that we worry ourselves past the process we need to go through to get those grades that just end up doing poorly or procrastinate because we don't know where to begin.
With working out, we set such unrealistic EXPECTATIONS that we become disappointed when we don't meet our deadlines. "I'm going to lose 25 pounds by spring break." Then spring break rolls around and you've either only lost a few pounds or you've actually gained because you stressed out so much that you kept forgetting to go workout or you would just put it off.
With friendships and relationships, there is such a high EXPECTATION that is put on us by either ourselves or society. We are supposed to have, at a minimum, a few people we are to tell everything to and entrust all of our secrets, insecurities, and weaknesses to. We are supposed to trust people and allow them into our lives because it's the normal thing to do. We are supposed to love someone, fall IN love with someone, get married and have children with someone..
The common word you see there- EXPECTATION.
Something I have struggled with for a very long time is the expectation I set for myself and even other people. When people don't meet that expectation, I become disappointed with myself/them, and it just piles up one after another. But keep in mind one thing- you don't have to lower your STANDARDS to have fewer EXPECTATIONS.
You see, your STANDARDS are what you thrive off of. In school, you set a standard that you put in the best and hardest work that you can and don't slack off. In working out, you set a standard that you at least make that effort to do something physically active. In friendships and relationships, you set that standard that you feel comfortable sharing yourself with someone else. This allows for less disappointment and ultimately less stress. This allows for that standard to become a routine and eventually leads to better LIFESTYLES.
Focus on the process, not the results. It makes less sense to focus on the result before you've even started the process. Results are altered by every variable that differs from the day before. Life happens..things change.. YOU change, every day..
So focus on the process of living your best life on a day to day basis rather than setting an expectation or result for the end of your day. Be kind, be encouraging, be uplifting, be genuine, be authentic.. Let the day come to you instead of chasing after it. Life isn't definite, change is inevitable, and the power to do whatever, whenever you want is all yours. So don't make your life any less than what it is-