2019 Will Be The Year Of The New Me And I'm Not Sorry

2019 Will Be The Year Of The New Me And I'm Not Sorry

Making changes and I'm not even mad about it!

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I know everyone always says "new year new me" and blah blah blah, but this year is going to be a new year new me forreal this time! I have said it over and over and over again, but this year i actually mean it!

Let me tell you what i mean, i mean i am going to stop being absent friend! What is an absent friend you might ask, well it's a friend that will love you with my entire heart and go out of my way to support you in anyway that i can, but i kind of live my own live and do my own thing..i'm sorry i am really bad at communicating!

I also mean just because i stop being the absent friend does not mean you can take advantage of me. Do not get me wrong i am always going to be here for you like i said but i am not going to continue to do so if you don't take my feelings into consideration as well! I am so so so sick and tired of being that friend that listens to everyone else's problems but when it comes to me needing someone to talk to it seems like no one cares enough to even listen to me!

I am so over that so this year if you don't like what i have to say if you don't listen to me but i dropped everything for your issues and you didn't even think to take my feelings into consideration im sorry but there is the door! I am at the point in my life that if you don't care about me then i don't care about you..i mean it's just that simple, i'm not even sorry about it!I have learned a lot in 2018 like no one actually cares about you, they only really care about themselves and if they don't like what you have to say then they get all butthurt.

I mean i am all about changing the way i am being treated and whatever, but that's not the only thing i want to change in 2019! I am also going to change my health lifestyle, i am going to start saving money, i am going to really get my life together! My health this last year has not been the greatest and since i started to change my diet and everything i have been starting to feel a lot better and i would love to keep it up, i have some of the most supportive friends that have been here for me through all my issues and i thank you or that! As for saving money...yeah that probably won't happen but it's worth a shot!

2019 is about to be the best year yet, i can feel it!

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs. In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm..

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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Being Ugly

What it means to me

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Due to a series of ongoing events throughout my semester, I've reconsidered what it means for someone to truly be ugly. Though it is often used in terms of appearance, I do not see it as such-- now more than ever. Ugliness runs deeper than appearance-- it runs within one's soul and festers into other areas of one's life, particularly in their treatment of others.

I view ugliness as someone's conscious capacity and implementation of malice. Taking time and energy out of your day to hurt someone else, that's what I view as ugly. Some offenses are more minor than others, however, it is still a conscious effort to hurt or affect someone else negatively-- and that's the source of the problem. I truly wonder what causes that sort of behavior in someone, as I, along with most people, simply do not invest time or energy into hating or plotting against others. It seems like a full-time job.

I can theorize all sorts of reasons as to why someone would act this way: hate, jealousy, vengeance, etc. Yet, all of these reasons don't hit the root reason. It almost seems that some people are just innately ugly in their soul. This alludes to the timeless debate of whether one's personality is due to nature or nurture. Again, although our surroundings and environment do have a large effect in our behavior, that alibi only goes so far when multiple people are placed in the same environment, in the same situation, and only some are willing to cross moral boundaries in order to hurt the others. Just because an environment applies pressure to people, does not mean everyone is going to act out in malice, and it certainly does not give everyone an excuse to do so. Some people are simply conniving and, well, ugly inside.

If you have ever encountered people like this, I know from personal experience that it is such a drag. You have an enemy, essentially, whether you chose to or not, however based on their hatred towards you, they are now considered an enemy, a hater, and any other associated term. Know that they will do anything in their power to bring you down, even if it requires bending the truth and creating elaborate schemes, but you have to keep on doing you. Let them obsess over ways to bring you down. At the end of the day, their time and energy is being invested into bringing you down, while yours is being used to build yourself up. They will fall by default. So, keep your head high, act in grace, and make your money. They can sip on their Haterade and watch from below.

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