Before you click away from this page, hear me out first. I'm serious about this. I'm actually changing a few things about me for this upcoming year. Hope y'all are ready. By the time this goes live it will have already happened but it's still good to document the journey.

For starters, I'm doing something that I never thought I would do in a million years. But I'm getting a tattoo that means the world to me. A lotus, that represents purity and this purity is what I need for the new year. For the years leading up to 2019, they have been a roller coaster of emotions and thoughts and it's just crazy to see how I was even able to survive everything in 2018.

But that's behind all of us, behind me for that matter. It's time to turn the page onto a newer and better me. One that gives nothing for anyone and only cares about my own happiness. It seems that every time I give up my happiness for someone else, I always get the short end of the stick. I cannot begin to explain how many times this has happened to me. I'm over it and that's why I am planning on changing the phenomenon. And that change begins with me.

As I said, I decided to get a tattoo that stands for purity. Purity represents the new beginnings that someone needs in order to start a new life for themselves. And that is the representation that I need in order to make myself the better me that I deserve, not only for myself but for the people I love.

Second, I am changing my hair. This is something that I've always wanted to do but never really found the time or the money to put into it but I decided to dye my hair. Now I went to the salon across the street from my apartment last semester and they told me that their dye would completely ruin my hair because I constantly dye my hair with henna whenever I find the time for it and henna doesn't work well with their dye. And upon hearing this news I was very upset, until I found an actual henna dye that would color my hair and get to the color that I've always wanted. So, with that information I'm excited to take that step to make the change that I've always. If in making these changes is what provides me with happiness and betterment of my mental state, I will do whatever I need to do to make myself happy. Even if it prompts me to spend a little more money for it.

These changes will help me be able to see that I have a future ahead of me and this will contribute to the betterment of my well-being and the well-being of my friends and family. All of the heartache and pain that I have gone through and still continue to go through, I unknowingly put it on my family and my friends and I just wanted to apologize for that. I'm so sorry to be such a negative person and I promise to be the better Rohitha that I know I can be. I love you all so much.