In With The New: College Friendships

In With The New: College Friendships

New place and new friends vs. old home and old friends.
6
views

With college comes a new group of friends. Throughout the first few months of school, you are constantly meeting new people. Slowly but surely, you begin to build up your new little crew. These first few months are exhausting because you’re trying to figure out these new friends. Of course, you’re learning what everyone’s favorite foods are, who drinks Starbucks, who stays up the latest.

But you’re trying to really figure your new friends out. Like what makes them laugh the hardest and what it is that they miss the most from home. You want to know if they were closer with their dad or their mom and what it is that they’re the most passionate about.

College is different because one day you’re at home, surrounded by the friends who have been by your side since the beginning. The people who did a lot of figuring out with you by their side, whether you realized it or not. One day those are your people and it all just makes sense. You know who you can only spend a couple of hours with and who you can spend days on end with. You do a lot of growing up together. You make some mistakes together, but really you have a ton of victories together. You go through milestone after milestone with these people by your side.

And then all of a sudden, those people are in the same situation that you’re in, only in a different town, city, state, all with different people.

College friendships are entirely different. Because you all show up with completely different pasts, but with more or less one common goal. Instead of sharing a similar past with these people in the way that you did with your childhood friends, you’re here just trying to take all that you can from these next four years with these new people.

It’s a complete reversal. You go from sharing your past to sharing a future. Of course, in both, there are countless things that make each person’s journey unique. But just like you were stuck in the same hometown with those people, your stuck on the same campus with these people. It’s starting over, but different. And with it comes new challenges that I don’t think I was expecting.

Maybe I thought that I would find friendships just as strong as the one’s that I left at home. But that was naïve. Those friendships were cultivated through years and years of growing up, fighting, crying, laughing, and learning. I shouldn’t have expected for friendships to have come as easily as the one’s that I left.

It’s even harder now because it is so incredibly easy to stay in touch with those friendships from home. You’re constantly seeing pictures and hearing stories because it is that easy. Don’t get me wrong, this is something I am so thankful for. Because of technology I can skype with my family each week and talk to my best friend on the phone throughout the day and text my friends throughout my week. But technology brings along a certain expectation that because it is easy to stay in contact with everyone, that you should. I’ve found that sometimes this makes things even harder.

It is hard to commit to the people that you are now doing life with if you are constantly trying to maintain friendships from home. It’s a balancing act. Of course. I don’t want to lose any of those friendships. But if I’m never willing to loosen the rein just a little bit, I know I will never build the true, deep, sustaining, lifelong friendships that college promises you.

So, don’t worry. Friendships don’t happen overnight. They take weeks and months and years. But if you are constantly putting the friendships from home above the relationships and experiences here, you will miss out. Those friendships are coming. Don’t overlook all the work that went into building them.

As tiring and overwhelming as it can seem to find the people who make you laugh the most and push you to be all that you’re dreaming to be, it is worth it. Even in the missing your childhood friends, it’s worth it. And even in these very beginning stages of friendships and memories, there are glimpses of lifelong joy that I know these friends will bring. It’s worth it.

Cover Image Credit: Hannah Cook

Popular Right Now

8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
69939
views

Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.

144
views

From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

Related Content

Facebook Comments