Never I thought

Never I thought I would smile at you and it wouldn’t touch your eyes,

Never I thought I would hug you to be patted on the back,

Never I thought I would share my dessert with you for you to only leave the poisoned cherry,

Never I thought I would be the beanstalk you used to get to the giant at the top

Never I thought I would share my ghost stories for you to share it through a game of telephone

Never I thought I would be the noise in your quiet, the quiet in your noise.

Never I thought I would be the ones we pass and murmur a hi and bye

Never I thought I would choke on the concept of trust

Never I thought I would grimace at the pronunciation of your simplistic name,

Never I thought I would be hidden in your closet to all of your shiny accessories,

Never I thought I would be a text instead of a conversation.

Never I thought I would be the appetizer instead of the main dish,

Never I thought I would be the broken wings to your traveling bird

Never I thought I would be the blind to your eyes

And the mute to your ears.

Never I thought I would not be able to call you with the boo's and hoo's

Never I thought I would not be able to give you the key to my chained up heart,

Never I thought I would not be your first chance at happiness

Never I thought I would be hidden with your chemical imbalance,

Never I thought I would be interrogated by your mask.

Never I thought I would be wearing flip flops with you,

I thought I was wearing fastened ice skates.

Never I thought I would not be the songbird to your happiness

Never I thought I would be the reason for your anger and pain,

Never I thought I was dealing with blotted ink and watercolors,

I thought I was the acrylic paint.

Never I thought I would hear the words, "I am done,"

Or that we’d say, "I don’t love you."

Never I thought I would be healed with the last goodbye.

I do know I am a butterfly soaring through the wind

I do know I encompass your mind,

I do know we share the purple in each other’s hearts

I do know it was only time.

Time tells, our hourglass broke, and we failed.

BUT, “it’s okay,” everyone says.

Even you.

Is it?

Is it okay?

Are you okay?

Are you still hiding?

We finished hide and seek, we are grown and adults.

I am okay.

I am not in pain.

I am just in miss of what I thought was real.

But I guess it was just a game of I thought,

And now a game of I know.