That One Girl Who Has Never Seen "Star Wars"
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That One Girl Who Has Never Seen "Star Wars"

'"Star Trek" is basically the same thing, right?'

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That One Girl Who Has Never Seen "Star Wars"
Star Wars

I’m not afraid to admit it. I can’t pretend any longer.

I, Veronica Faison, have never seen "Star Wars."

To all the cute boys I’ve lied to, feigning interest in the Death Star and Han Solo, I apologize. I never meant to hurt you.

If you asked me to tell the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek," I couldn’t offer a distinction. Not even if my life depended on it.

Sure, I’ve been "forced" to see some fragments. I’ve used my context clues to get me through a solid thirty minutes of "Episode V." But beyond Eric Foreman’s references in the “That’s So 70s Show,” I’ve never really grasped the importance of the franchise. And I don’t exactly feel like I’m missing anything.

I get the gist of it. I’ll half-heartedly laugh at the “Luke, I am your father” jokes. Maybe retweet a Yoda inverted witticism or two. I know what a Storm Trooper is. I can recognize the theme song anywhere. I even know (some) of the important characters.

There’s Princess Leia, the one-dimensional female love interest with the loopy hairstyle.

Luke, the ruggedly handsome protagonist with obvious insecurity issues (why else would he have to whip out his light saber every time things get a bit heated?)

There’s Chewbacca, the wild animal that, despite clearly being undomesticated, white people continue to feed anyway.

Yoda, a very wise Siddharthian frog who refuses to use active voice in his grammar.

And then R2D2, the amicable toaster oven.

Plotwise, there’s a battle between good and evil, and although the “dark side” is very welcoming, the light prevails over Darth Vader, who admits his paternal responsibilities to Luke Skywalker without Maury and a lie detector test. Talk about a plot twist.

Like I said, I get the gist. But what I don’t get is the hype.

How can one movie culturally unite a nation? More importantly, why this one?

The year is 2015, and most of nation is collectively holding its breath. Not for the presidential race. Not for the accruing international crises. Not for even for the New Year itself. But for "Star Wars."

Officially Disney-invested, the new "Star Wars" film, "The Force Awakens" (episode VII, I’m guessing), directed by the renowned J. J Abrams, is set to recreate blockbuster history.

According to Rentrak senior media analyst Paul Dergarabedian, this movie has the potential to be the first film in history to gross three billion dollars worldwide.

"I've been doing this for over 20 years, and I've never seen this interest and passion in a single movie," said Dergarabedian.

Set thirty years after the last film, this Episode is set to be the first of many installments to reinvigorate the "Star Wars" franchise.

In the first 24 hours of upload back in October, the preview for The Force Awakens was viewed over 12 million times on YouTube. It has over 70 million currently. "Star Wars" fans are viciously dedicated, and, for a filmmaker famous for remaking, it’s a nerve-wracking experience.


It’s clear that this is a huge phenomena that I somehow missed and got left behind. While I could blame my foreign parents for not introducing me to this life-altering movie, I know that I missed the bandwagon, not because of my hipster elitism or the fact that I’m not planning to become a Jedi anytime soon, but just because it didn’t appeal to me. If we're being honest, it seems a bit lame. This is coming from a die-hard DC comic book fan.

Don’t tell me I’m alone in this. You can’t tell me that everyone in North American/Western culture is emotionally invested in this series. Yeah, space is cool and all, but we’re being honest—really honest with ourselves—is it really the best movie series of all time?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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