Joan Rivers opened the gates of opportunity for women in comedy. She was a woman who spoke her mind, held no restrictions and always told the world what she was thinking. Relentless, leaving no person safe, she commented on and jabbed at many celebrities, without regard for the boundaries she might have crossed. No topic was taboo; speaking on everything from ugly children, to Chinese people, to obesity, she brought smiles to many people’s faces, whether they felt good about it or not. Rivers was a comedic icon and will be known as the Queen of Comedy for many years to come, as well as maintain an influential legacy in pop culture.
She was also an utter bitch.
This may seem harsh, even unacceptable since it has only been a year since she passed and we want to be respectful (and I agree whole heartedly). However, even though she is deceased, this does not mean we can just take all the horrible things she said and sweep them under the rug. Rivers was known for her hurtful commentary and insensitive jokes: It’s what puts her name in people’s mouths. For many years, we called this woman cruel, nasty, and a flat out c*nt. Yet, now that’s she’s gone, we want to (finally) call her a pioneer, icon, a true artist (even Rivers would call us hypocrites).
I fully understand that being a comedian means you recognize there aren’t boundaries and that we, the audience, enjoy that about you. An example of this is when she commented on Kim Kardashian’s child, North West, saying “That baby is ugly...I've never seen a 6-month-old so desperately in need of a waxing.” Another example is when she insulted Rihanna about her incident with domestic abuse. “Rihanna confessed to Oprah Winfrey that she still loves Chris Brown. Idiot! Now it's MY turn to slap her." We know this is downright mean. Yet, at the time, we were laughing right along with her because we thought it was funny.
I was the unfortunate target of bullying for many years of my life. I heard a variety of painful and hurtful things said about and to me. And I would watch the television, listening to comedians like Rivers and Ricky Gervais say things similar to what I was hearing my peers say. I would hear a roar of laughter from the audience, applause that would shake the roof, and believe that what I was feeling was completely wrong. The whole world thought these jokes were funny, so I should just chill and laugh too, even though I wanted to cry. The people who made these jokes were popular and loved, so I had to sit and roll with the punches because no one likes a party pooper. The problem I have with Joan Rivers is not that she was a bitch (and she was), but that we are putting her on this pedestal and calling her a role model for all women, when that is certainly not the case. Many other comedians have followed this ideal, such as Sarah Silverman, Daniel Tosh,Chris Rock, and even the recent Nicole Arbour with her segment "Dear Fat People."
Students who are being bullied may not report being victims of bullying because it makes them feel ashamed, afraid and powerless. Then, over time, they may come to feel they deserve to be bullied. This dangerous way of thinking can continue on until they’re adults. In the beginning, Joan Rivers was an icon in comedy because her dark humor and unrestrained opinions were enjoyed for the sake of entertainment. But, those who do the same thing to others don’t do it for the art of comedy. They do this because they know people will laugh and adore them for saying such awful things. And, they are absolutely right. From the break room at work to the classrooms in our schools to social media networking sites, we give attention to those who say purely evil things, and we encourage them by either laughing along with them or not stopping them at all. I can accept these things from Rivers because she was a comedic genius. But as time went on, I personally felt like she said things just so she could be relevant again. I cannot and won’t accept it from people just looking for attention and power.
Sometimes, we have to laugh at ourselves because life would be too serious if we took ourselves seriously. I give credit to Rivers for helping us understand that. So call her a comedic icon, because she is. A role model, though? Not so much.
