Never Let The Ones Who Help You Grow, Go.

Never Let The Ones Who Help You Grow, Go.

“As you grow older, you realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones." - Z. Abdelnour

Ben White

In this crazy thing called life, many obstacles are thrown at us. Knowing who is there for us is extremely important in helping us determine how we react to those obstacles. Nobody walks life’s path alone.

With the help of family, friends, significant others, and even acquaintances we somehow get through those troubles, right? Does this mean that every person who helped you through that one tough time will always be there to help you? You have no idea and the sad truth is- probably not. Then again, who does know? Who knows if that same family member that helped you the first time will be willing to help the next time; who knows if the friend who you thought you could go to for anything will be there; who knows if you will still be with that same significant other the next time around; who knows?

At different points in our lives, we come across people who we “think” will always be there for us. When we come across bumps in the road on this journey, we encounter school problems, drama, break-ups, work problems, friendship break-ups, family difficulties; you know this list can go on. These people that we “think” are going to be there forever, may not be. Forever may only last a few weeks, months, or years.

As we grow up, we typically go through many friends and friend groups starting from our elementary school years all the way up until we grow old. We don’t know that the “best friend” we have in 3rd grade will be the same best friend that will be our maid of honor at our wedding. We don’t know if any of the friends we had, as adolescents will be the same that will be there when we get married and have children.

You think it is awesome to have many friends, but would you rather have many friends and every single one is fake or have one friend and he/she be the realest person out there? In my eyes, I would rather go through life with that one friend who is going to be real. See, the way I see it is that I want to be there for those who mean something to me and who will be there for me. I’m the friend that’s always there for others; I’m a dependable person. Even if I’m at my ‘worst’ or at the busiest time in my life, no matter what, I’m there. From being this type of person I began to realize two things:

#1: with expectations comes disappointment

#2: people don’t always do for you what you do for them

Let me elaborate for a minute on those two things…

You can’t just expect people to be there for you, you have to know deep down that they will be there. This comes from one thing- the other person. The other person needs to make you feel as though they will always be there. You can’t just assume they will be. After they make you feel that way, you need to determine if they will do what you do for them. I’ve come across way too many people that I would do more for them than they would even think twice about doing for me. Who needs people like that? It’s as if I pick them up when they're down and they leave me on the ground. Doesn’t sound fair, right?

As I grew up more, maybe late teens, I finally began to learn the difference between whom I need and who needs me. I don’t need someone who isn’t true to me, I don’t need someone who is fake, I don’t need someone who talks behind my back, I don’t need someone who isn’t there for me. I need trust, honesty, a helping hand, someone who is there for me, someone who is real, someone who is going to help me grow. It is extremely hard to find people with those qualities these days. It might take years to finally come across one or more friends that are that way. Let me tell you one thing though- when you DO find friends this way, don’t ever let them go, EVER. These are the ones that have proven to you that they are there to help you grow. They proved to you that they won’t let you down. They support every little decision you make. They are simply ALWAYS there for you. How do you know they always will be? Now this falls on you. You need to trust yourself as you trust them. You need to believe in them and be there for them as they are willing to be there for you.

When you meet special people in your life like this, keep them close to you. They will be the ones to pick you up when you’re down. When you find those who are there to help you grow, you begin to realize that they really are there for you and you start to look back upon who “said” they were going to be there and you question yourself. You can’t look back in the past and think you had friends that were dishonest, not trustworthy, or fake; you simply just have to thank them in your mind. Thank them for realizing what you really deserve. Thank them for being a learning experience in this thing we call life.

We all know one important phrase: actions speak louder than words. So if someone can’t prove to you that they can help you grow, don’t waste your time proving to them that you want to help them grow, because, in reality, you don’t need someone like that.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

This Survey Shows How Quarantine And Drinking Relate, And I Can't Say I'm Surprised

"5 o'clock somewhere" is more of a guideline now than ever.

As it stands, and my friends and I are finally 21. We're extremely excited to be able to go out to bars and "get lit" as the kids say, but due to the pandemic, all of our plans have been put on hold. We'd rather wait and go when it's safe than risk spreading the infection and hurting our loved ones. So, we've all been quarantining apart, getting on the occasional wine zoom call. This made me wonder if anyone else our age were doing the same thing.

Then, I discovered this survey: We Surveyed Millennials And Gen Z About Their Quarantine Drinking Habits — Cheers. Here are 3 things that I discovered through the survey results.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Easy Summer Mocktail Recipes You Can Make With Items You Probably Already Have On-Hand

Keep these drinks in mind next time you're visiting your local farmer's market — you might want to grab some extra mint and limes.

With Summer 2020 in full swing comes the addition of many fresh fruits and vegetables to brighten up your dinner plate, but also your glass! Farmers markets are my personal favorite place to look for produce that is in season to make fun mocktails with.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Ways To Celebrate The 4th of July — Without Fireworks Or Social Gatherings

We created a list of things to do since social distancing may create a dent in our typical, planned traditions.

With the Fourth of July on Saturday, the usual tradition of popping fireworks, grilling out, and being surrounded by family has been modified due to the pandemic. Whether you're a loner or surrounded by family, there will most likely be some changes to your celebrations.

For weeks on social media, people across the country have been complaining that they have been subjected to fireworks going off at all times of the night into the early morning. This has sparked concern and questions about why this is happening and how are people even obtaining the fireworks.

Keep Reading... Show less

Carb And Cheese Lovers, Unite — These Are The Best Mac And Cheese Recipes On The Internet

Whether you need to get through the current pandemic or want to spice up your Fourth of July celebrations, these mac and cheese recipes will do just that.

My favorite food is mac and cheese, and it always has been. All it requires is noodles and cheese — it's so simple to make. Although it's my favorite, it can also get kind of mundane because it's such a simple recipe. This, of course, has led to many people all over the world experimenting with the American staple.

With our lives currently being turned upside down due to the pandemic, a lot of people are seeking comfort. These are scary times, and in order to make it day-to-day, we need to have our favorite foods as a standby. These recipes can also be used during your celebration of the Fourth of July.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

17 Things To Make You Feel GOOD This Week

Because some purchases are just necessary.

Y'all, we're struggling. You don't even have to tell me, I know. What a mess we're all in, right? This year is not going how we planned and the world has turned into one giant struggle bus. I guess you could be super philosophical about everything happening for a reason, but sometimes life is just hard.

There are plenty of ways to bring yourself out of whatever rut you're in. You could go for a run, have a snack, or read a book. Or, if you're really looking for an adrenaline rush, go shopping. This is obviously not going to solve the world's problems with one swift click of the "checkout" button, but hey, it may just give you the little boost you need today.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Wore A Butt Mask Every Day For A Month, And It's Officially Essential In My Daily Self-Love Routine Now

Thirty days later, my booty's as smooth as a baby's.

- Blissfully unaware that butt-care beyond squats was even something I should be considering in my self-care routine, I tried one of Bawdy Beauty's butt masks for the first time a month ago.

- I've never really given my butt a second though till I took a look at improvements that could be made with the mask — if one of the hydrating, firming, detoxifying, or brightening masks in the kit I received could either smooth out cellulite or tone my skin a bit more, I wasn't going to complain.

- Each Bawdy Beauty sheet mask comes in an individually-packaged sheet, soaked with a serum I massaged into my skin after removing said sheet. The clay butt mask comes in a convenient stick format I simply draw on to my skin and leave to set for about 10 minutes before hopping into the shower.

- I set a goal of committing myself to butt-care every day for one month. Between the regular use of sheet masks, clay masks, and their CBD Butt Balm in between, I didn't have many expectations.

- I thought the whole concept may just be a gimmick, but my butt has never looked so toned in my life, and the cellulite I had is almost completely gone. I wear one every single day when I get the chance.

I'm incredibly skeptical when it comes to marketing ploys and gimmicks in the beauty world. I'll be the first cynic to try out the latest serum on the market every influencer is raving about just to negate every grandiose claim it makes.

Keep Reading... Show less

Friends, you don't have to be quarantined to use a personal massager, you know? Because, sure, quarantine made for a lot of extra quality time with yourself, but no matter what phase of the reopening process you're in, it's normal and actually healthy to take care of your sexual needs on your own.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Books I Didn't Realize Are About Gay Women

If you read primarily LGBTQ fiction, then this list might help to expand your TBR list.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Frequent readers of LGBTQ fiction might feel like they're reading the same book over and over again, with few exceptions.

Most of these books were on my TBR list for months and I didn't realize they were about gay women until I was reading them, hopefully, this list of books can interest you in expanding your reading material and seeking out different stories.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments