If I were to tell you every detail of this story, that would feel like a never-ending tale. So I’ll save you the time and fast-forward to the parts that made the final cut.
It was August when I saw her for the first time. Now, I’ve seen her before. We went to the same school for almost nine years. But this time was different. I really saw her for the first time. She was the drum major for my final marching band season and this just made her stand out among the massive blobs of faceless marchers. There she was.
It was September when we kind of went to our first dance together. She looked incredibly dapper as she arrived to pick me and my friend up. We danced together, laughed at the sappy songs, and had a memorable night.
It was September when I hosted the after party and we technically had our first sleepover How naughty! Totally kidding; I can’t really say anything monumental happened with 20 other people surrounding us...
It was October when she introduced me to her parents. These meetings became a regular occurrence and I began to find myself spending most of my leisure time with her at her house either cooking in her kitchen or taking naps by her side in her ridiculously red room.
It was October when she told me she loved me.
It was October when I told her I loved her too.
It was December when she took me out for our first real date. We’ve eaten and went out plenty of times at this point, but we hadn’t dressed up and really gone “out” yet. It was at Jinya, a fancy ramen house in Mosaic District. I teased her endlessly for spending like $30 on a bowl of ramen that I could’ve easily made at home, but she insisted.
We dressed up and went out. We ate, talked, laughed, and bought useless knick-knacks at the tiny side shops. She drove me home and I kissed her goodnight with a big goofy smile. I fell asleep with that same stupid smile on my face.
It was December when we had our first Christmas together. I wrote her a jar full of messages and a bag full of even more useless knick-knacks. She got me warm sweaters and made me my very own mini-me, “Eggy.”
It was January when she took me out to Spa World for my 18th birthday and spoiled me with delicious meals and countless gifts.
It was May when she surprised me at my door with her quirky promposal.
It was June when we went to our senior prom together.
It was June when we walked at our graduation.
It was August when we had to say goodbye for the time being and head to college.
It sounds almost perfect, but that’s because I only wrote about the good times…
It was September at our first sleepover when my parents told me they didn’t think it was appropriate for me to spend “alone time” with her. They feared that spending time alone would “influence” and “cloud” my better judgments.
It was October when she introduced me to her parents, but I couldn’t do the same for her.
It was November when I first lied to my parents and spent the night at her house. This became a regular thing.
It was January when I had the best birthday of my life, but I couldn’t even share the photos or funny stories with my parents.
It was May when I was surprised with the cutest promposal, but I had to hide the photos and the sign in the back of my closet.
It was June when she took me to my first prom and when we had our pictures taken at the beautiful Meadowlark gardens, but I couldn’t take my family with me or even show them my pictures.
It was June when I walked by her side at graduation and heard her parents cheering my name alongside hers, but I couldn’t do the same for her.
It was July when I abruptly moved to Charlottesville which put many bumps in our summer plans.
It was July when I went up to visit her and found myself lying to my parents about where I was staying.
It was August when I got caught in my lies and got kicked out of my house for a day.
In my house, it was okay to be straight or gay, but bisexuality was something totally out of the picture. It was seen as a “phase” or a “sexual fetish.”
She is the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I go to bed.
She is my rock and she is my supporter.
She is my best friend and she is my happiness.
When it comes to life, obstacles are inevitable. I choose to conquer my obstacles to happiness.
Our disposition is not directed by what happens in our life; it is directed by the way we respond to life.
Although my story seems to have two sides, one negative and one positive, I choose to look back and only focus on the happy moments. This didn’t mean that I mentally erased all of the negative moments; it meant that I choose how I was going to respond to my life.
I remind myself every day that this is something that I cannot change or fast-forward through. I’ve accepted that this is going to take some time and that I need to remain patient.
So, if I can’t change it, I might as well keep living on and keep doing what makes me happy.
When you surround yourself with happiness and positivity, no obstacle stands a chance.
So the day you find that happiness, never let it go.
It's your life, so go out there and do what makes you happy!
