I've Never Been The 'It' Girl And I Am Totally Okay With That

I've Never Been The 'It' Girl And I Am Totally Okay With That

Why be on the top of the pyramid when you can gain strength from the bottom?


A huge part of growing up and maturing is dealing with the unavoidable social categories. Whether it's the cliques at school, the groups at work, or just the overall structure of society, there are undeniable groups when it comes to who is popular and who is less than. As far as these cliques go, there is always an "It" girl and I, frankly, have never been her.

Do I mind? Not one bit. Because even though she received all of the attention and many considered her to be the most beautiful and likely to go far in life, I did not once envy her or the praise she received.

Being the "It" girl means constantly being in the spotlight and that is something I will say no thank you to on any given day. I hate being the center of attention; my anxiety loathes it. Constantly being the topic of everyone's conversation and the object everyone gazes at is not something I have wanted or ever will want.

It may sound like a cop out or whatever but being on the sidelines was enough for me. In fact, it was actually extraordinary. I could define who I was without attempting to fit into the molds of others. I could dress how I wanted, say what I wanted without other people commenting on it or even caring.

Never being the "It" girl meant becoming who I am today, and I would never give up that chance.

I firmly believe that I was not that girl because I wasn't meant to be. That girl in my high school, that girl at work, or whoever she is, is in everyone's mind for a reason and I am not for a reason as well. I don't mean to sound depressing or anything, it's just the truth and a truth I don't mind.

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I feel like I missed out in high school or that I am somehow missing something because I am not that girl. I won't sit here and pretend because there is some societal norm that tells me that that is something to strive for.

I'm cool with what I have and who I have grown to be. I plan on continuing to grow as a person and I don't ever want to be defined as the "It" girl. I'll let her keep that definition and decide what she wants out of it.

I love being that girl on the sidelines. She's a pretty cool chick too.

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Bailey Posted A Racist Tweet, But That Does NOT Mean She Deserves To Be Fat Shamed

As a certified racist, does she deserve to be fat shamed?

This morning, I was scrolling though my phone, rotating between Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube and Snapchat again, ignoring everyone's snaps but going through all the Snapchat subscription stories before stumbling on a Daily Mail article that piqued my interest. The article was one about a teen, Bailey, who was bullied for her figure, as seen on the snap below and the text exchange between Bailey and her mother, in which she begged for a change of clothes because people were making fun of her and taking pictures.

Like all viral things, quickly after her text pictures and harassing snaps surfaced, people internet stalked her social media. But, after some digging, it was found that Bailey had tweeted some racist remark.

Now, some are saying that because Bailey was clearly racist, she is undeserving of empathy and deserves to be fat-shamed. But does she? All humans, no matter how we try, are prejudiced in one way or another. If you can honestly tell me that you treat everyone with an equal amount of respect after a brief first impression, regardless of the state of their physical hygiene or the words that come out of their mouth, either you're a liar, or you're actually God. Yes, she tweeted some racist stuff. But does that mean that all hate she receives in all aspects of her life are justified?

On the other hand, Bailey was racist. And what comes around goes around. There was one user on Twitter who pointed out that as a racist, Bailey was a bully herself. And, quite honestly, everyone loves the downfall of the bully. The moment the bullies' victims stop cowering from fear and discover that they, too, have claws is the moment when the onlookers turn the tables and start jeering the bully instead. This is the moment the bully completely and utterly breaks, feeling the pain of their victims for the first time, and for the victims, the bully's demise is satisfying to watch.

While we'd all like to believe that the ideal is somewhere in between, in a happy medium where her racism is penalized but she also gets sympathy for being fat shamed, the reality is that the ideal is to be entirely empathetic. Help her through her tough time, with no backlash.

Bullies bully to dominate and to feel powerful. If we tell her that she's undeserving of any good in life because she tweeted some racist stuff, she will feel stifled and insignificant and awful. Maybe she'll also want to make someone else to feel as awful as she did for some random physical characteristic she has. Maybe, we might dehumanize her to the point where we feel that she's undeserving of anything, and she might forget the preciousness of life. Either one of the outcomes is unpleasant and disturbing and will not promote healthy tendencies within a person.

Instead, we should make her feel supported. We all have bad traits about ourselves, but they shouldn't define us. Maybe, through this experience, she'll realize how it feels to be prejudiced against based off physical characteristics. After all, it is our lowest points, our most desperate points in life, that provide us with another perspective to use while evaluating the world and everyone in it.

Cover Image Credit: Twitter / Bailey

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15 Winter Dates For Couples Who'd Rather Snuggle Indoors Than Step Foot Outside

Do I wanna build a snowman? Uhhhh NO!


Christmas time in New England can get pretty damn cold. I mean, we do have a few warm days, but for the most part, it's cold, windy, and sometimes snowy out. Now, if you're anything like me and you don't like the cold, typical Christmas dates might not be for you, but luckily there's plenty of cute dates that don't involve venturing out in the freezing abyss.

So get your hot chocolate, eggnog, ugly sweaters and festive pajamas ready because here are 15 fun winter dates that don't involve you and your partner leaving the house at all.

1. Ginger bread house competition

2. Classic Christmas movie marathon

3. Hallmark movie marathon

Only because my boyfriend's mom LOVES them.

4. Okay so really just any Christmas movie marathon.


5. Making Christmas ornaments

6. Paper snowflake making competition

7. Baking and decorating (and eating!) Christmas cookies

8. Dance around to Christmas music

9. Make each other a new stocking

10. Write a letter to Santa

Super silly but super cute.

11. Take cute Christmas pictures


Perfect time for those ugly Christmas sweaters or Christmas pajamas.

12. Decorate the Christmas tree

And you know the rest of the inside of the house.

13. Wrap presents together

14. Hang a mistletoe and kiss under it

15. Stay up tracking Santa

Don't forget to leave milk and cookies out for him, and carrots out for the reindeer.

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