When I was young, I always wanted to be a cheerleader and to be popular. I always wanted to fit in with the cool crowd. Especially in high school, I never felt like I fit in. I always envied the life of the popular kids because it seemed like they had everything. They had tons of friends that surrounded them, money, nice cars and perfect grades. All I had was a few friends and alright grades. I wasn't a cheerleader or basketball player, instead, I was on the bowling team. I hated waking up for high school every morning because I had to deal with the feeling that I was never going to be like the popular girls. But those girls weren't happy girls. They revolved their entire lives around boys, popularity and who had more money. Even though I wanted to fit in, I never actually wanted to be like them because who wants to tear other girls down just to feel good about themselves? Not me. Since I've been out of high school, I have accepted the fact that I'm different from those type of girls entirely and that's perfectly fine.
I don't want to be average, I don't want to be just like every girl you meet. I've always been different from those girls, and I've accepted that that is not a bad thing. I've never wanted to be one of those girls who makes a person feel like they are inadequate to me. Instead, I've always striven to be someone who makes everyone feel like a someone. It's a lot easier than being rude to someone. Those girls who always made me feel like a no one are the no ones, because if they have to belittle me or anyone else to find confidence, they really are just insecure.
I don't want to be that girl you knew in high school who drank or partied all the time. I don't want to be that girl who is constantly on her SnapChat sending selfies to boys, desperately begging for attention. I don't want to be that girl who belittles someone because they have less money than me. I don't want to be that girl who is ashamed of where she comes from. I don't want to be that girl who lies. I don't want to be that girl that lives on her cell phone. I don't want to be that girl who Taylor Swift writes songs about.
Instead of all these average things, I want to be the girl your mother is fond of. I want to be the girl that enjoys antique shopping instead of shopping at the mall. I want to be the girl who finds beauty in the ordinary. I want to be the girl you think isn't just beautiful, but is intelligent. I want to be the girl who loves Jesus more than I love you. I want to be the girl that isn't trashy but is elegant. I want to not only be elegant in my fashion, but in my demeanor. I want to be the girl who has independence. I want to be one of a kind girl. I want to be the girl that makes it hard for you to forget. I want to be the girl who makes you a better person. I want to be the girl who encourages you. I want to be the girl who leads you closer to God. The girl I want to be is different.
In the words of the beautiful and confident Maren Morris, "You can hate me or underestimate me. Do what you do cause what you do don't face me. Just when you think I'm at the end, In a second I'ma catch my second wind!" I'm not your average girl and I never will be.
