A lot goes into a relationship: trust, compromise, time, effort, passion, compassion, and much, much more. But sometimes days go by and you think a person will change and grow with you. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t. You didn’t.
I am a confident 21-year-old. I am beautiful. Captivating. Exciting. Spontaneous. Magnetic. Vivacious. Passionate. Genuine. Curious. And I absolutely love myself.
So here are some questions I’ve been asking myself:
Why did I allow someone to make me feel everything except for these things for so long?
How did I cry day in and day out without doinganything about it?
Why didn’t I listen to my friends and family after they told me everything I needed to hear?
Well...probably because I’m a stubborn brat. The more everyone told me I should leave, the more I wanted to stay. I wanted to prove them wrong. I wanted to prove myself wrong. You would learn to be more respectful. You would be nicer to me. You would make me feel good about myself. You would put in more effort. You would stop making me feel like being myself was anything but what you liked most about me. Just so you know, I wholeheartedly believe that you’re a good person, and I know you never actually meant to hurt me. But you did, repeatedly, and whether it was knowingly or not, I just couldn’t handle it anymore.
So here are some questions I wish I would have asked you:
Why did you stay with me when it was clear you didn’t like everything about me?
Were you that oblivious to our differences that you didn’t even notice what we had wasn’t working?
If you claim you like me so much, why didn’t you listen when I told you repeatedly how your words were affecting me?
Was I just someone to pass the time? Help you through the hard times? Keep you company?
Anything is possible. And normally I can’t move on without answers to all my questions. But I will get past this, because I don’t really want to know the answers this time. I am so glad this is over because when I left you, you took a part of me that I might never get back. You took a little piece of my heart that will hopefully begin to mend over time. It’s time for me to start living for myself again, and stop living for someone else. It’s time to be selfish.
Oh and lastly, "sorry" for being so "extra" and posting an entire article about you. I couldn’t get all my thoughts out to you in person, so here you go. Here is how you have made me feel for months.