I have been fortunate to not have experienced a death in my family while growing up (that I was fully aware of). At the end of 2015, I found out that my uncle, who is my sunshine, had cancer... again. He had it before, a different type, but he beat it each time. I never met anyone on this earth like him. Growing up he let me give him spelling tests, and I, of course, had to grade them for him. I would grade them and leave them on the fridge for him to review so he could do better next time.

Aside from my dad, my uncle Phil was the kindest and most loving man that I have ever met in my life. God knew what we needed when Phil came into our lives. When I found out that he had cancer again, it felt like I had been punched several times in my heart. I ached for the rest of the time he was alive because all I wanted was to be near him. I wanted to hold him and listen to his stories until I couldn't any longer. He told the best stories. He could make anyone smile, I think that is what I loved most about him. I will never forget how sweet his laugh sounded. I can say that I have a video on my phone that I will forever cherish. Michael, (my fiancé), myself and my niece went to Florida to be with him and my aunt after Christmas. We all were the only ones who were awake to watch the ball drop. I took a video of the TV while the ball was dropping. In the background, you can hear him counting down until midnight. At the end, you hear him say "Yayyy!" And you can hear that sweet laugh. Every time I hear it, I smile and even cry a little.

I know they say that your first loss is the toughest, but I never expected it to be like this. I miss him on a daily basis. During my daily life, I can picture him and what he would be saying to me at that exact moment. When I accomplish something new in my life, I know that he is smiling at me. I miss his sweet hugs and smelling his cologne. I will never forget anything about him.

He was blind, but that did not mean that he ever lived a less meaningful life. He did not ever let that keep him from doing what he wanted to do. He was fearless. He loved with all of his heart no matter what. He never met a stranger. He was kind and so warm to anyone who he came into contact with. I hope that everyone has someone like Phil in their life. If you don't, I'm sorry because we all need someone like this in our life. He changed the way that I think about a lot of things. He taught me to never let anyone bring me down or tell me that I can't do it. Every year when I would come visit him in the summer between my college classes, he would get a little prouder of me every single time. He is one of the people who I am getting this degree for. I want my degree in Public Health because I want to try to make a difference in one person's life like he did. I want to be someone's ray of sunshine. If I can be remotely as happy with my life as he was, I will be the happiest woman in the world.

I don't think that my heart will ever ache any less. I don't think that I will ever stop missing him. I'll never stop missing his hugs and his smiles. I'll never stop hearing him calling me "Double K." I never thought I would have to walk down the aisle on the happiest day of my life without him being there. It will be a happy day because I know that he never stopped loving me and that he will always be in my heart. I hope heaven knows what a great man that they have and how much we miss him here. I'll do my best to make sure my aunt Carol will have all of the love and support that I can give her.

Uncle Phil, I cannot wait to hug your neck again and to kiss your cheeks. Until then, I will do my best to make you proud. I love you so much.