Sometimes going through a break up isn't as difficult as others say, and sometimes you know the person is wrong for you. You know that building a relationship together would never last because you never became bestfriends. But then there are times when breaking up with a certain person is the hardest thing you have ever encountered. Not because you are breaking their heart and your own at the same time but because you are choosing to lose your best friend.

     I can honestly say that there is nothing worse than choosing to let go and move on knowing that your bestfriend will never be anything more than a memory that is implanted in your brain. It's a very difficult phenomenon to describe when it comes down to it. "Yes I love you, but I'm not in love with you" is the best way to describe it. The truth is, unfortunately not everyone can break up and remain friends no matter what your past is before the relationship. In fact, most people who say they can, end up not being able to continue a friendship. That is why we lose our best friends. We lose the people who become the most important to us and honestly end up lost for some time afterwards. 

     With time, we learn how to pick up the pieces and redefine our direction and purpose in life. But not all of us can completely move on. Some of us still hold on to that friendship hoping there is a little glimmer of hope although we know it is long gone. Why you say? Because we do love them. We wish they could still be apart of our lives but at the same time we understand how impossible that is. But what else could I do besides write a letter I know you may never see? The one thing I can definitely say is that when we cut the ties we left no strands behind but it's like we sliced straight through the middle until we could no longer remember how to find each other. It's crazy to think that less than a year ago we were inseparable, by each others side, the best of friends. 

      So with that being said, I hope you're reading this. I hope you're doing well and living your life to the fullest. I hope you have everything you ever wanted. It's been awhile, which I'm sure you're aware of. We started off great and then it changed. Was it the fact that our lives became difficult or the challenges were coming our way and we didn't know how to deal with them? I knew you inside and out and same goes for you with me. We were there for each other in the best of times and through the most difficult of times. You never left my side when it felt like my world was falling apart around me and there could never be enough words in this world to tell you how grateful I was to have you through everything that happened. I wouldn't be where I am today. We managed to get on each others last nerves on occasion, but when support was needed the most, it was given until, you know, that last day...........

     I sometimes wonder why we don't stay in touch or would it be so bad if we got together for coffee or called each other every once and a while to catch up. I mean, we have been through so much. You were a major part of my life and there's nothing I could ever do to change that. I could never forget you because forgetting you would be like forgetting myself.  From the second I met you, I knew there was something different about you. You taught me how to be successful and not care about what others thought. You made me feel beautiful and confident in all I did. You proudly introduced me to your friends and family and I could never thank you enough for that. I could never imagine how my life would be if I never created a bond with your family. Your family welcomed me from the moment we met and that warms my heart because they could see that we were something important in each others lives at the time. No matter what has happened between us, I hope I never lose that.

     For awhile I hated myself. I couldn't help but constantly question everything I did and where I went wrong. This left me broken and what felt like I was unfixable. I felt stranded and I couldn't seem to get over it. But as time has passed and our lives have moved on all I have left to say is "thank you." Thank you for loving me for who I was and never giving up on me. Thank you for being the person I needed while going through a tough patch in my life. Thank you for taking the time and pushing our relationship to another level. Thank you for the time we had together. The moments I got to love you and have good times and laugh endlessly at the smallest things in life. I cant expressed how glad I am to be able to look back at the memories and smile about them. The days we spent together were some of the happiest and best days of my life. You were one of the few people who stood by my side and pushed me until the day I graduated and went to college and that means the world to me. I hope you remember that.  

     As I sit and think of all the amazing things that have happened since we parted, all I can do is smile. I have learned so much about myself and I've learned how to love myself again. I will never not be proud of you no matter how distant we become. I will never hate you or wish you the worst. I am only sorry I couldn't do more for you. But whatever you do in life, I wish you nothing but the best. And I wish that you accomplish everything you always wanted in your future endeavors. I will always be grateful for the time I had with you, the relationship we had and the things you taught me. 

I'm over it and I'm becoming who I need to be. Thank you;)