You know who you are.

I once had a group of girl-friends when I was about thirteen years old that I thought would be my sisters for eternity. I thought that they would be my bridesmaids in my wedding, aunts to my kids, and family forever. When you're young and blessed with an amazing group of people constantly supporting you, typically you don't ever think about how much it'll hurt when they stop supporting you, when they stop loving you, and when they stop acting like family. I know I didn't think about how much it would hurt, and experiencing the hurt is way worse than reading about it, trust me.

Distance is usually the main subject that people tend to point at when relationships fail. This CAN be a factor in failing relationships, but it's a factor, it is NOT the sole cause of the downfall. For example, my best friend Sam, who so happened to be in this group of friends I am addressing, and I got even closer. Sam and I had been best friends for four years before I left for Arizona and despite the 2500 miles, we are closer than ever. Distance can make things tough, but it can make meaningful relationships stronger. However, people that tend to shift blame on everything else but themselves, obviously don't seem to see it this way.

I spent a lot of time thinking about the ending of these friendships. I spent a lot of time blaming myself, thinking about what I must have done wrong, and why I felt like I wasted 6 years of my life with these people. After I finished crying myself to sleep for two weeks straight, I got up out from under the covers. I stood up, wiped my tears and realized it is NOT because of me. Granted, people change, but there is difference between growing up, evolving and changing and becoming evil and cold-hearted people.

Never in my life would I have thought these girls would break my heart the way that they did. My best friend Sam and I are very kind & authentic people. We watched each other grow, have had drawn out fights, and cried ourselves to sleep together. We both changed, but we both evolved positively and authentically. These girls that we were friends with grew to be people who only cared from themselves and we didn't even notice. I put my heart and soul on my sleeve for these girls. Did everything I possibly could have for them and they left me in the dust to die. Specifically, one that literally could've been my adopted sister, hasn't even contacted me since my birthday in July. And the other has ignored me for weeks, only to contact me to start a fight.

After reflecting on my time as friends with these people, I realized a few things. I realized that I slowly saw these girls becoming these people right before my eyes, even though I say I did not. The little things all connect when thinking about someone's character, as a whole. I kept seeing a decline I kindness within the two of them that I brushed off because I believed I knew these people. I didn't. Do yourself a favor and always trust your gut. If you have a weird feeling about a friend, trust your feeling and trust yourself.

Something else I learned was when people leave, they are meant to leave. Every single little thing happens for a reason and whether it hurts or not, it is part of your journey to get to your destination. Those people were a huge part of my life, yes, but that's just what they WERE. Their time in my life is complete and although they brought a lot of negativity to it, their time has passed. Just since July, I have felt my life become way more positive and blissful without their involvement. I have been able to see my true friends, like Sam, and realize how lucky I am to have them. Realize how lucky I am to be here and get the opportunity to be surrounded by people of love and authentic hearts. Those people may not dance at my wedding, but after reflection, I'm ok with that.

Have a nice life.

-A Happier Colleen