While in school, weekends for me meant finally getting to have some alone time. Going to school every day and having to be in social settings all day for eight hours was more tiring than simply waking up in the mornings. When I started working full time, my days off were cherished moments of sleeping in, doing whatever I wanted, maybe taking myself out for a nice afternoon—maybe a nice lunch. When I was younger, I avoided birthday parties, social outings, etc. I enjoyed just my own company, sometimes even more than the company of others. I was okay with staying home on a Friday night, even preferred it.
I've gone to concerts, the movies, restaurants, shopping, completely by myself for fun. One of the best concerts I ever went to was during the months that I lived alone and drove myself to a venue in Downtown Orlando, just wanting to see my favorite bands and enjoy the experience.
I love my friends. They're some of the sweetest, genuine, selfless people I've ever met. Talking to new people, making conversation, being charismatic—that's not a problem for me. I love getting to know new people and sharing a nice conversation. Being kind gives me fulfillment. But, I can't do it very often. Or rather, I simply don't want to.
Some people might take offense to that, but I've learned how to show my friends or family that I still care without draining my social battery. I'll make appearances at parties, dedicate an afternoon to spending quality time with someone, or subject myself to a group chat and chime in when I can. I know that some friends or family get their fulfillment by human interaction, so I try to give my best efforts.
I need more time alone than most people, though. I can't handle going to school every day and then having a full conversation once I'm home. I refuse to make plans for the hours when I'm off work, because I know I'll go out and count down the minutes until it's acceptable to say goodbye. I don't dislike spending time with my friends, or dislike them in any way, shape, or form—I just can't be my best, kind, sociable self when my social battery is drained. When I know I need to flip the switch and be outgoing like at school or work, I can do it, and I want to. But once those hours are over, or I'm home and have no plans—please do not expect more than a "hello" and "how are you" from me.
It hasn't been easy in recent months to get my needed time away from the world and recharge my battery. I keep telling my mom that if I could just spend like, three days, with zero social obligations or interaction, I would be so ready to keep conquering life. But life doesn't always work how we want. Even if I spend time with my boyfriend, sometimes I tell him to let me be for a bit, and thankfully he understands and can do his own thing while I do mine.
I'm not an introvert because I hate people—I love people. I am just drained by social interaction, rather than charged by it. If I'm the flakey friend or the one that declines too many invitations, then so be it. It is never because I don't think it would be a good time, or that I don't like you, or would rather spend time with someone else—I just need to be alone.
