The Necessity Of All Necessities: Toilet Paper
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Student Life

The Necessity Of All Necessities: Toilet Paper


Once upon a time, you used to go to your crush's house and TP his front yard. You made sure to bring enough for every tree and enough to roll around the grass after you covered everything you could. You always had extra toilet paper and would fling the leftover 3 rolls up in the air before you either ran away as fast as you could or hurled yourself into your older  sibling's car when you saw the porch lights switch on. 

And yet now you find yourself stranded in a Frat bathroom without any extra rolls. Why is it that every frat bathroom is sorely lacking in the toilet paper variety? Too many people wanna rage? Okay, well that could be true. Or just a bold-faced lie. You should know when you're going to have a party. 

In a dinner discussion with my Chi O friend from the University of California, Los Angeles, she mentioned the same issue. Whenever there’s a party, day or night, frats (fraternities, sorry guys) always forget about the most important issues: hygiene.  We can move past your lack of soap by the sinks, but really? No toilet paper at all? Come on.   

My mom, who was (and still is of course, #lifelong) an Alpha Chi Omega at the University of California,  Berkeley, never remembers having issues like this. She said that fraternity houses always had toilet paper in the bathrooms. She suggested going up to the personal bathrooms of the brothers you know and using their restrooms which, while it may sound like a cleaner idea, could result in you just being disgusted by the way your guy friends live. That one’s up to you.  

So I propose, on behalf of all stranded sorority girls out there, that if you wish to throw a party, late night, raid, mixer, exchange, kickback, what have you, stock the bathrooms that are most commonly used with something as simple and hassle-free as toilet paper.  

Toilet paper comes in bulk. It's cheaper than beer and is sold basically everywhere. You can buy it at the campus Walgreens or even at some  liquor stores in the back next to the miscellaneous items and your favorite healthy snacks such as Doritos.  That girl you're drooling over probably would flock with her friends to a frat with boys just as cute as you if they have toilet paper and you don't. So maybe next time she leaves your frat for another, maybe she's really leaving because you didn't stock the bathroom and someone else did.

Just a thought.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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