Dear Andrea "Cabeza de Pollo,"
I know we see life with different eyes. But somehow, even though mine are supposedly more knowing than yours, I can always find more wisdom in your perspective.
When Mami told me that she was pregnant, I couldn't help but wonder whether you were a boy or a girl. As the months went by, I would ask myself whether you would look like me or someone completely unrelated to our family. Day and night, I would also question whether we would get to love each other or let the eight-years-gap crush our relationship. It amazes me now to think about how much you can love someone you didn't even get to choose.
You know, it's not that easy to be your predecessor. I don't enjoy knowing that there are things that could and will hurt you. Things that I might not be able to prevent. In fact, I would change roles anytime if that assured your happiness. Trust me, I know your fears and go over them occasionally to make sure you don't give them as much importance as I do.
Having you in my life has been the best reminder of my innocence and fragility. I observe what you do and admire how you solve things with character. Part of me still can't get over the fact that you are able to face life with more courage than I'll ever have.
I know you often hear me say "no" to pretty much everything. I don't know how you tolerate me at times, and can only pray for you to keep doing the same. I also know that, as you grow, you'll acknowledge that I only correct you to bring out the best version of yourself.
Supposedly, one of my missions as your older sister is to show and teach you wonders. It is assumed that I am honest with you, but I am afraid to tell you whenever I make mistakes. Just know that I am wrong whenever I tell you to change anything that makes-up your essence. Being yourself is the best thing you can do and you should never feel bad about it.
Nothing makes me happier than to hear how you talk about your dreams. It's inevitable for me to laugh at some of your questions. I know how curious you are. You want to know, learn and grow in all ways possible. You truly know how to enjoy life and give yourself enough time to make the best out of it. The way you assimilate to the world fascinates me. It's inspiring how you give yet another chance to anything you don't understand, even after it has hurt you.
I just wish I could see and cherish love and beauty like you do. You love by showing solidarity toward anyone and anything. I know that most of the favors I ask from you have to do with bringing me something from another room. This time, however, all I will ask from you is to never lose the wonder and faith in people. Basically, to never lose yourself.
I want you to never run out of light. Don't let anyone discourage your answers when these are coming from your heart. Never hesitate to defend what makes you happy and keeps you alive. Scream, dance, laugh and love turtles until it hurts because there is nothing that should be preventing you from it right now. Don't lose the taste for freedom and knowledge, so that you can keep telling me all these things I no longer understand at my age.
If, at any time, you feel like something is missing, thank your youth. And if, at any time, you are scared of the future, I hope to be a few steps ahead—just enough steps for you to be able to see me, feel proud and aspire for more.
Find a reason to get closer to your dreams every day. Never be afraid to take a step because I have no doubt that extraordinary things await for you. Also remember the immense and infinite love of your family because, believe me, it will become your greatest source of strength.
You do not know how much I appreciate that I am part of you, that you'll take me with you forever. It strikes me how, being so small, you already understand this without ever questioning it: we didn't get to choose each other, but God certainly knew what He was doing.
With the same love I felt when I held you for the first time,
Katherine Rainbow Dash
