On The Nature Of Friendship
Start writing a post
Student Life

On The Nature Of Friendship

Part 1

479
On The Nature Of Friendship
Church In A Circle

So. Friendship.

Everyone has it, everyone wants it. It is a simple human desire that needs little explanation. It is as essential a need as food and water or the air in our lungs. But when we try to narrow it down, try to explain the details and intricacies of friendship, we suddenly realize just how complex a thing it is.

More than enough has been written on the nature of friendship; I only serve to collate what little I have read into a coherent, and brief, analysis. Perhaps my own thoughts on the matter might slip in, but I doubt that I could add much to the conversation.

The most common attribute across all friendships is love. The word carries a heavier connotation than many of us are comfortable with, but, at its core, friendship is an exchange of love. Exchange is a key word, because a friendship by necessity must be among others, someone beyond yourself. Love must be present in any friendship.

Part of the difficulty of using this language of love is the confusion of intimacy with sex. A true friendship will be intimate, as Seneca wrote in his letters, we should "speak as unreservedly with him as you would with yourself." But this connection of interest, intellect and desires tends to confused with, or substituted with, the intimate nature of sex.

I have spoken with many about friendship, reading authors like Cicero and Seneca, who have written a great deal on friendship, and the common assumption is that any intimacy shared between these authors and their friends necessitated intercourse. This is not a baseless assumption, given that the language used is similar to how we today might confer with lovers, but a close reading shows that this is simply not the case.

So why do we think this is the case? A possible answer comes to mind:

We have lost the imagination for any discussion of love beyond sexual satisfaction.

Love, an integral part of human existence, has been conflated with a base sensation. To truly understand the nature of friendship we must work to pry the two ideas apart, separating them in our minds. Is there a place for sex? Yes, absolutely, but that is a questions which must be answered apart from the matter of friendship.

So we have said that love is what makes friendship so desirable, but what is love? Or rather, what does it mean practically?

For this, there is no simple answer, no one word explanation. But let me ask you, when was the last time you called your best friend? Sent them a text? Not for any emergency, or some sort of business, but just to see how they are doing. Have they contacted you? If you haven't, do so, or start doing so. You don't have to be obnoxious about it, but a simple call will go a long way.



To be continued next week.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

53769
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

34611
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957041
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

181730
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments